I posted excerpts of some of Laura's emails to Sean earlier, here's the whole thread from the time he left her for anyone who wants to read a novel... LOL He told her it was over when he left, she stayed in the apartment that was in his name, and refused to leave. She accuses him constantly of "flip-flopping" as far as their relationship is concerned, but as you can see from his messages he's very clear it is over. And that was HIS decision. She continues on and on (and on and on and on, lol) saying she's closing the door on him, but they may be meant to be in the future... hmm... who is "flip-flopping" here?? Sean's correspondence is in yellow, the rest is Laura going on and on and on and on.... lol Theres a great message from him toward the middle where he is so kind, but really tries to get through to her. It all came to a hault when he revoked a bail-bond he had posted for her in GA, he called the police and had her arrested so he could get back into HIS apartment. Without her. ;-)
In case you're wondering, when Laura talks about a man named Ken, that is someone she had a "vision" of and began stalking back when she was STILL MARRIED 20+ years ago. She left her husband to pursue Ken. Problem is, he had never even talked to her until after she decided God had told her they were meant to be married and he wanted nothing to do with her. She stalked him (and his wife..) and then he got a restraining order, which still didn't stop her. HE has had her arrested too,, lol. He has been married for decades, but Laura still thinks he could be her man. I'm pretty sure the Bible (specifically the 10 commandments) frowns upon coveting someone else's husband.... Especially when you yourself are still married too....
The courts declared this woman a threat to herself and others, they were right on so many levels. She can't even physically take care of herself, which you'll read about when she says how she just keeps working so hard to try to clean the apartment, she says something about finally being brave enough to take a shower, and things about needing dishes and laundry done. Spiritually, she's even more dangerous. She does know scripture, but she warps it into things it wasn't meant to be. Laura says she's the leader of the end time move of the Spirit and all must follow her to escape tribulation, the scriptures say those previously dead and those who are alive in Christ will be caught up, nothing about followers of Laura Lee. lol 1 Timothy 2:12 states women are not permitted to teach or assume authority over men. Laura will claim men and women are equal in spirit, and we are from an eternal perspective, but on this Earth we were created with different roles and must live those out according to scripture. Ephesians 5:22 states women are to submit to/obey their husbands, Laura flat out says any man with her will listen to her. Marriage is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church, I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't take orders from the church! She still to this day (as evidenced by her blog posts) believes she is Mary mother of Jesus reincarnated, where exactly is that in scripture?! She tries to justify reincarnation saying Elijah was reborn as John the Baptist, only he wasn't. John the Baptist was flat out asked if he was Elijah in John 21:1, he said NO! She claims she's the leader of the church of Philadelphia, which happens to be the ONLY church in Revelation that God could not find a single fault with, that just doesn't line up, lol... She claims she's the only one able to initiate 2 Chronicles 7:14 prayer, that verse states "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray I will hear them from heaven and heal their land." It does NOT say "If my people will follow Laura Lee and pray..." or "If Laura Lee prays..." She claims she is the apostle of Revelation 12, the woman of Revelation 12 represents the nation of Israel, not a single woman. She makes many other false cleans about being the Romans 13 authority, etc. She has made many false prophecies that never came to pass - she is a false prophet trying to lead others astray with the knowledge she has (and warps) of the Bible. We must pray for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to not be fooled by her, and for God to work in her and open her eyes to her own heresy.
Now grab some popcorn and hold onto your seat, because her mood swings and personality swaps could give you whiplash...... ;-)
****************
Laura
Nov 3
love isn't who you can live with, it's who you can't live without. Community. Even with true love you can still have arguments, but you always make up. love is not being able to live without that person by there beside you when you need them. Not someone you can live with all the time.
Laura
Nov 3
Trying to clarify. Because you said you wanted to leave, I asked God then to confirm and provide money so that I could pay you back and you could have a good start because you said you wanted to go. Just so you know, I didn't want to say, but the man who offered to pay a year of my expenses, I don't think he's stable. Anything talking about that seems like I might stray into gossip when I speak about him because I do know he has problems. So, for the facts, he is not giving me $360 let alone $14,400. I thought maybe -- then he's had no contact with me, know he's not completely stable, and I don't believe he is giving me anything. (But I do think he really did have a good thought -- it's the thought that counts -- and I appreciate the kindness of his thought to give.)
Hope that makes sense. I don't believe that friend will be providing that - I want to make sure I am kind because I do believe he had a good thought. (If he had provided it, I would have given you plenty of it so you were fully free to choose to stay with me or to go. That's what I was thinking...).
K, passing that along because it is factual stuff. I'm going to work on my prayer that I am doing in general for this area, then I'll pray and start to see if I can hear God speaking to me specifically.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 3
Sean... you better turn around and come back now, football starts in 3 hours or so (don't tell me you can watch it there). :)
Laura
Nov 3
Sean, since I don't have a phone right now -- and you do and can contact me via internet, is it ok if I give your phone # as a message # if I fill out an app?? I know God did have me be given $400 to start this month (which is a pretty good gift). God may increase the giving, etc. so I'm all set to do ministry full time. But, I also might fill out apps in walking distance. (Like Eastside Grill and MAYBE -- it's a long walk without a bike -- that gas station).
I have to pray to get God's direction. As you know, I have "stage fright" about turning loose miraculous power. I may have to open up this apt for prayer meetings -- and attend church down the road... which will begin to break the anointing out of me. I'm nervous about it -- I think it will hurt me... even though it's wonderful when the Spirit pours out. So, I'm not sure which way God will open things up.
But can I use your phone # as a message # to give?? Then, you can email me if Eastside Grill or the gas station, etc. is trying to contact me?? If not, I don't see how I can fill out applications without a phone # to give anyone....???
God bless!! :)
Laura
Nov 3
I miss you. I'm trying to think of what God wants me to do -- fill out apps or whatever, etc., etc.
But, I do miss you. I'll try to pray through and "find out" what is really in my heart and spirit -- I don't know. I get confused. :) I really enjoyed our travels -- and I did like living with you, Sean. I just thought we needed to talk and learn how to communicate. That's what I thought. I do love you... I had so much fun when we were in Philadelphia, NYC, DC, etc., etc. I'm just going to be sad and cry for a while. Plus, if I try to think about living without you now -- I don't want to. I don't know what God wills, but I'll just pray and ca sara sara. GBU!
Sean White
Nov 3
to Laura
Hi. Just getting in, just in time for the game, lol. Don't forget tonight the clock changes back 1 hour for daylight savings. Interesting my trip here. I tried 3 times to try to get the same route that I did last time coming to Tuscaloosa. My GPS wouldn't do it. It led me on a new route through the original route of the Trail of Tears that the Native Americans did going to the reservations.
That is fine about the phone number for apps. Maybe you can also see if you could pay Ed to take you to store for phone if you feel God leads u and to the store. I am sorry that I took toothpaste. I meant to leave it there but you can use the baking soda in fridge which is better for u than toothpaste. That is what i use a lot.
I do enjoy the time we had together too and do love what we shared. Not to upset u so I will keep this short. Just think need some time to sort stuff out. I do think this is for a reason because again the trip took me on a route through the Trail of Tears and me being a Native means a lot to me and I know has deeper meanings to it. I need to research more about. Plus, another strange thing is that the driver's seatbelt just started working again today. The first time it didn't work for me was my last trip to Tuscaloosa. So I know there might be meanings behind those two things.
God Bless You,
Sean White
Laura
Nov 3
Hi Sean, :), thanks for telling me about the baking soda. I used that before too. Between baking soda and hydrogen peroxide, that should work well.
I think I will wait about the phone. I'll see. I'm going to see if my son has any of my money and will bring me my car. So, I think my son could buy me a phone card -- give me the code #'s via email... and I could just enter them into my card. I just need someone to buy a card and email me those refill #'s. I'll try to figure that out later. I'm just trying to get my prayer stuff done tonite.
I just am crying a lot about things and I don't know why. I do feel like what I experienced in my suffering of the past is being accessed. But, I can't interpret that. We're both alike in how we do our own things -- and just are sensitive really about things. I dunno. I couldn't tell you, Sean, if it's because I love you with a love that is of God or if it is because I'm bonded with you in a way that isn't right. I've never cried about someone like this before. I didn't even cry about my ex like this. I didn't cry about Ken like this either. I didn't cry about the other 2 guys I dated (and never really believed they were for me). So, I don't understand it really. (I really did believe you were Joseph... so it's making me cry a lot for whatever reason...)
I know everything means something - like the trail of tears... and the seatbelt. I just usually don't know what things mean. LOL :)
I know Mr. Russell who was on the infowars was talking about reservations and stuff and saying about the Government is to us all now that way - FEMA camps related to being like reservations.
I'm having to come out of my prayer closet, come out of my woundedness and suffering to answer my calling. I just think this hurts and I don't understand things. But I do trust God to walk me through it.
Don't worry that I'm crying. It's probly good for me.
My phone was taken away from me for a reason... The register made this sound like it makes when they are like, "you are the 100,000th customer and have won a grand prize!!".... twice with 2 different $50 cards. lol So, you see, God don't want me calling you right now. :)
Hope you enjoy the game. :)
God bless you,
Laura
Laura
Nov 4
Had a dream... I cannot remember the dream in it's entirety. I watch "The X Factor" -- and it is about answering my call somehow to me though I know it is carnal in a way cuz it's secular music.
Anyway, I think Simon Cowell and I were looking at trees for eagles nests. We saw some. We saw two nests that had designs and markings on them that at first he thought were eagles nests, but they were not. I think we were the eagles. And I remember how we could glide going through the air. But we had to rise up above the mountains.... and we had to labor to do so in flapping our wings making it work to rise up above the mountains. And also a line of trees was before us. We had to flap our wings hard in order to pull up in order to rise up above them to fly over them.
Then, a scene flashed to these ppl asking me to work for them. They were two ladies. Seems like the husband's name was "Mark Jiminez" or SOMETHING like that (I doubt it's right... I doubt I remember right....???). But I was applying for jobs. They said they wanted me to go in the basement. I went in the basement. There were things about the basement I do not now remember. But it was 2 ladies. Then, they came down to talk to me -- and I could see that they had been talking about me. They told me they wanted to hire me but I had to talk to the husband of one of the ladies. I don't remember what the job was. I think it was construction -- something that there's no way I could physically do in real life. It was quite odd. There's more to it and I cannot remember it to make sense of it.
Then I was at this place. I almost think it was a school but I don't know. It was a place where we could see the eagles or something. This young man was there. He was probably about 20 years old. He was incredibly handsome. He and I had a "tryst" shall we say. He really thought highly of me. I somehow set him up with a girl who was 20 or so. I had folders I had bought wholesale in larger quantity. I gave the girl a folder. I had marked on it two prices. $.20 (20 cents) and $5.00 on masking tape inside. I hadn't realized that I had both prices marked. The 20 cents was cost. I guess I was thinking about selling the folder for $5.00. This young lady also thought incredibly highly of me. I was going to just give the girl the folder. She saw the tape prices. She asked me how much for the folder. I didn't want to charge her the $5.00. I was going to just give her the folder. But, then she asked how much seeing the prices. I didn't want to charge her the 20 cents either. So, I told her, "a quarter". (She didn't give me a quarter. She just took the folder and I said she could give me a quarter... )
I remember I was talking to another lady. She too thought very highly of me and was telling me how spiritual I am -- people just amazed at me and looking at me in wonder kind of thing. (They really do that when I begin to release manifest glory by the way -- like when the glory filled the temple of Solomon.. so I'm familiar with how ppl look at me when I have begun to release the tip of the iceberg of my gifts in manifest glory...). But that's how the young man, the young lady and this woman looked at me. And I said to this lady, this woman, that if I was so spiritual then I would end the tryst with the young man and give him to the young girl.
I remember at the dollar general I was looking at folders for household expenses. They had the month on them and pockets in each month where you could put receipts. I was thinking when I was at dollar general that I wanted a folder like that, but for receipts of ministry money -- because I just got a $400 gift. And I was thinking that I'd want to keep track somehow, and send out thank you notes. And just get organized about the giving into my ministry. (But it was $2.00 -- and I didn't want to spend the $2.00... and it didn't seem like it was just perfect how to use/adapt the folder to my purposes. But I found that folder quite interesting.)
Also, I know you have your prophetic dream folders. The folder didn't look like your folders. It seemed more like the ministry folder to me, but I couldn't tell exactly. I found it interesting that I said the price was 25 cents and when you went to the hotel it was 25 cents.
God told you in the hotel to stand up for me -- and you did from then on. But not towards Pam and I wanted you to. Instead of standing up for me, you let her come between me and you. If we are not meant to be, then I understand you letting ppl split us apart. But if God told you to stand up for me, then I wanted you when I stopped and did not say anything to her -- and you asked me what happened -- I wanted for you to step in and call her up and speak for yourself about the plates. It's like when 2 parents have an unruly teenager. And the teenager goes to the mother to fight with her to try to take rule of the house. The mother stands her ground and will not give up the rule of the house to the teenager. Then,, the teenager goes to the father complaining about the mother. The father is "supposed to" stand with the mother and make the teenager respect the mother and not let the teenager take the rule of the house. But, repeatedly, the "teenager" (janna, paul, others -- now pam) is successfully taking the rule of the house from the mother, "telling on" the mother -- and getting the father to fight with the mother taking the side of the teenager. So, what the teenager could not get away with with the mother -- the teenager is getting away with by turning to the father and having the father get in a fight with the mother for the teenager. So, if you and I are not meant to be, then Pam turning you against me and you taking her side against me is all that I can expect. But, if that is all that I can expect, why did you tell me that God told you in the hotel room before that you were to stand up for me??
I don't understand my dream either. Because you are not 20 and this young man was a perfectly healthy 20 year old == so it wasn't a perfect resemblance to you in the dream because you are not 20, etc., etc. I don't know if the man was you and if the woman was me (being rejuvenated) or someone else and not me. So, even in this dream, I cannot know if it means I'm to give you up to someone else... or if it means we will rejuvenate and become perfect for each other. I really didn't know from the dream and it could be either interpretation.
But, I am going to tell you the dream and trying to understand the Pam thing.
You did tell me that your assignment was up... and maybe that's why you didn't step in to speak to Pam right away when she was talking about the plate and starting all that with me. But, also, you very much avoid conflict. I think so long as you are avoiding conflict and not really standing with me from your heart -- it's a constant "open door" where ppl are going to attack me. Cuz it's an open door where consistently the enemy is going to be able to get you and I fighting and split up until you stop avoiding conflict.
I did try to talk to you about this. There comes a point in which we are to grow up -- so that God doesn't need to speak to us separately in gifts of the Spirit -- but where as 2 people who have the Holy Spirit we talk to each other and begin communicating in a more grown up, mature as Christians, and healthy manner. We do need to grow.
If we are not meant to be, then that is one thing. But, if we are meant to be, then we need to grow in how we communicate and in our relationship.
I don't know really what the dreams mean. I honestly cannot tell right now if we are meant to be or not meant to be. But I do know that God told you to stand up for me and you didn't with Pam --- but I don't know if that is because you were disobedient to what God told you or if it's because we're not meant to be and your assignment is over.
Sharing my dreams and thoughts for what they are worth. I will continue praying about this and wait on God to make things more clear to both of us.
The Sword of the Spirit,, the Word of God and the indwelling Holy Spirit, divides soul and spirit asunder. What is soulish about you and me will be cut away and what is of the Spirit will stay I believe as we pray. Eventually, I will know even if I'm slow. :)
So, I have no idea HONESTLY whether I am right to say, "Sean, we need to communicate better and ppl need to stop coming in between me and you -- this has to change where you and I stand together as one person united not allowing others in between our relationship...."... or whether we're not meant to be and I'm to let this all go. (It confuses me when you say you are leaving -- that is what throws me. If you didn't do that, things would be like they were in July. But... I don't know why you say you are leaving... if it's because we're not meant to be or because you consistently let others get in between us.... ??? Like I was trying to talk to you about...???)
Waiting on the Lord.
God bless you!!
Laura
Nov 4
On my dream, I did a pc search of "Mark Jiminez". http://perezhilton.com/tag/mark_jiminez/#readmore
Mark Jiminez and a gay partner were arrested in Dallas, TX on Independence Day 2012 (7/4/12). Mark Jiminez and his "Beau".
(Thankfully, in the dream, I didn't really want the job....)
lol
But interesting they were arrested in Dallas, TX the same day you and I were in DC. Remember that a homosexual started yelling at me??
Now, I have this dream and to me the dream was about whether or not you and I are meant to be.
I still don't know. But, I find this interesting that it was an odd dream... there were two women in it who wanted to hire me (I'm trying to learn if I should work or do fulltime ministry)... and here are two men. One is Mark Jiminez saying he's marrying the other man -- his "Beau". I find this very odd. lol
Article states:
We're SO proud of these two brave men for standing up, not only for what they believe in, but for what is undeniably RIGHT!
Texas residents Mark Jiminez and Beau Chandler marched into a Dallas County clerk's office to request a marriage license on Independence Day. After they were inevitably denied (thanks to unfair laws plaguing Texas and plenty of other states), the couple handcuffed their arms together and sat down in protest of the state's 2005 decision to ban gay marriage.
Both were eventually removed by the police department, but their message was heard loud and clear — equality for all!
Since marriage isn't an option in Texas, Beau Chandler is reportedly in the process of legally changing his last name to Jiminez.
That still doesn't give them the rights and privileges that married heterosexual couples enjoy. However, we have full faith that this couple and every other same-sex couple will be getting those rights in the future because, like it or not, CHANGE is coming!!!
Laura
Nov 4
I'm just praying. "Ed Grant". Looking again, looks like "Education Grant". Ed meaning "Education". (You have visions of schools and things.) For what it's worth category. GBU!
Laura
Nov 4
Hi Sean,
I think I need to be practical. I was on Christian internet dating sites before, Sean. I never met anyone on there that I was willing to "meet" let alone date or anything. I wasn't even "taken with them" on the phone. So, for me to feel that sense of peace from your first email... and to feel a sense of attraction to you... that felt spiritual... it was unprecedented for me personally.
I just have never experience anything like that before. I emailed with you, then skyped with you, and I was willing to meet you. The prayer that we had -- I've never had that level sense of oneness that to me felt more than prayer with other ppl. It felt like male/female oneness I could feel when we prayed together over skype.
I don't know if we can skype again after a while. Right now, I want to do my 7 days of prayer and I think it's probly best to wait til that's done unless you have something come up or I do or something else where you think we should. None of that "had to do" with mamacas or anyone else. That was what I was feeling directly between me and you. Because I felt it myself, I checked with you. I asked you a couple of questions. About your house number... and to see if you felt any attraction to me. Just checking.
After that, I did what ppl do and asked mamacas. I may have asked one more person her opinion, but I don't think she weighed in. I just know that it was a dynamic between me and you that I only checked with mamacas on -- but it didn't come from her.
So, anyway, it doesn't rest on mamacas. I think what spirituality there is is between me and you and what it really is is between me and you known. It doesn't involve other ppl what's of God between me and you.
But, anyway, though I feel something spiritual there and have from the beginning -- and I can see a lot of things.... I do think it would be best for me to try to be practical right now. Since you have said consistently that you want to leave, even if that makes me cry to even think about (which makes me feel like you are pulling on something real inside of me... ??)... I have to function on that basis to be practical.
So, not trying to be difficult at all with you or anything, but I think it would be best if we both pulled down all vids that are related to both of us on our individual youtube channels. (I don't know why I have so strong an emotional reaction about you not being with me if we're not meant to be -- but God knows these things. I'm just trying to be practical.)
I guess the first thing is that I think it would be good to pull down the vids. (We could always put them up again if we so choose in the future.) I don't know how it is that from right inside of me -- it just doesn't feel right when we pull away from each other. I do think too, that when you are really with someone you are bonded to in the Spirit in a "meant to be" kinda thing -- when you pull away from each other -- can get in the flesh pretty strong too. So, it's like, it just creates a dynamic where 2 ppl can be in the flesh or in the Spirit depending on if they are communicating and behaving right I guess.
It's just you say you are leaving so I have to be practical. It's not me saying I'm lead of the Spirit -- I honestly don't feel right about this. I'm upset to be saying this and it makes me cry, but I am also trying to be practical no matter how I feel -- so, to be practical, I think we should take down our yt vids that are joint. Plus, no matter how I feel about it, (Sean, why do I cry so much to even talk or think like this?? This is the one thing that really upsets me)... I just have to think that we're not getting back together again and so I have to do my calling on my own. (That does not feel right inside of me to say that -- but I have to be practical no matter how I feel lead of the Spirit or feel inside.)
So, I'll just try to think like that. (Feels like I'm running against the wind to talk like that --- but you keep saying this so I have to be practical.)
I'm going to try to think and function like that. (But it doesn't feel right inside of me, Sean, it doesn't feel like I'm "in the Spirit" or submitting to God to move in this direction -- but I just have to try because of you saying these things.)
Alright, let's pls do our yt channels like that if you also feel like it's the practical thing to do and you want to do it too.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 4
I did that with the vids, and I'm just gonna try to do that all the way around how I think and be practical. It's too upsetting to me to talk about so I think it's just best I don't talk anymore.
God bless.
Sean White
Nov 4
to Laura
Ok, took care of the videos and the blessings for doj, as well. It was something I was going to do anyway since we talked about it. Laura, I'm going to take the time to get my thoughts together now and take this break. Right now things are emotional and not the best time to think things through. Sorry, but what I got to do. I know you see things a certain way and I can understand how you see them. Also, I see them through my POV, as well. But now is not the time to discuss them.
God bless,
Sean White
Laura
Nov 4
I agree. I am going to try to not think about things. I have prepared all my life to do my ministry. I am in right now what I have called a Prayer Center. It's on commercial property, on a highway with good traffic. So, I need to be thankful and focus on the Lord's work... reading the Bible and prayer... and praying about the Prayer Center, the e-book, and what God wills for me to do in my work.
Sean, is it okay with you if I put your musical stuff, etc. in the room where the pool table is??
I "braved" taking a shower. :) So, I think everything will be okay. :) I want to work on organizing and cleaning -- and pray about what God wills for me to do with this as a Prayer Center in November.
It's like I have to put everything out of my mind and just focus on my work.
God bless you!!
Laura
Nov 4
Hi... I didn't hear back, so I went ahead and put your guitar and stuff in the pool room storage area. I need to do those dishes yet. But, put about everything else away. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Then, I'm more ready for God to bring ppl here and for me to make this a Prayer Center moreso. I need to do cleaning projects every day, I think and wash those dishes.
Anyway, I got everything done. Last thing was there was one coin by my feet here by my pc... right at my feet at the coffee table. I sat down, looked at it.... it's a 1999 Connecticut Quarter with the Charter Oak.
I'm gonna focus on my work. I'd appreciate God bringing me some real money so that everything was all set. I'm going to pray about that in addition to my prayer rounds. I typically will just focus on my work and that's how I live.
GBU!
Sean White
Nov 4
to Laura
That's fine about the music stuff. Been doing things with Bill and had a long nap.
God bless
Sean White
Nov 4
to Laura
Part of your dream...
Part with Simon ...
Don't know if means anything but...
Simon = sounds like "sign man"
Since you have been asking God for a sign
Cowell= co well= company well
Laura
Nov 4
hmmm... I'm doing well now. I'm focused on my work. This scripture came to me:
2 Thess. 1 Now we beseech you, brethren, by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, and by our gathering together unto him,
2 That ye be not soon shaken in mind, or be troubled, neither by spirit, nor by word, nor by letter as from us, as that the day of Christ is at hand.
God doesn't want me shaken. I'm doing my prayer rounds. Have the place picked up. Will do more cleaning tomorrow.
I'll take another look. I even told the Lord, I don't want to look for signs right now myself anymore now. Cuz, I don't like wondering. The Bible says that sufficient unto the day is the trouble thereof. I should just focus on what's in myhand. :)
Hope you are feeling well and enjoying the visit. I feel the Lord ministering to me where I was feeling pain. I'm not hurt now. :)
GBU!! LOL ~
Laura
Nov 4
Do we have one of those "on again off again" relationships?? hee hee. I'll define it that way. Then it's not confusing. :) LOL
Cuz, this whole thing is so hard for me to understand when I'm trying to understand it any other way. :) I'll leave it at that.
Hey, wonderful ppl have on again off again relationships. Guess that's what we're having so far....
That just kind of cheered me up cuz I don't feel thrown around then. It's on again off again... cuz i think so far it goes off then comes on again. :)
GBU!
Laura
Nov 4
Here's an article.... you can read it whenever.... points to ponder...
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/816541/on-again-off-again-relationships-not-always-bad-1
It's about on again off again relationships. It's good reading. I've never really been in an on again off again relationship. I've never had this kind of thing before.
Guess it either cycles and gets better -- or cycles and gets worse. But, I'm not liking the cycling. I like things more stable and steady. Seems like some drama to do the cycling stuff -- on again and off again stuff.
Either things should chill out and we should make adaptations and changes where we can get along better.... or seems like we'd get tired of cycling in and out. Seems like there are health issues and financial pressures that make you want to cycle in and out. (The whole "God's will thing" -- for me, that's just too hard for me to comprehend.)
I'd keep it simple. (God's will gets revealed in the simple just as it does in the superspiritual. All truth is parallel and hits those levels).
I think we need to work at it and make changes. (Ie. I had to quit smoking -- cuz that really bothered you.)
But, I guess there are more changes that need to be made for us to fit. And, I think the financial pressure has to come off of us perhaps??
I do like you for a best friend. (When you are being for me not against me.) :)
I think we need to make adjustments. I think if you get real honest, Sean, you'll realize that it's not that I'm a leader type person -- it's that you need to learn how to negotiate in relationships and let the other party be a full member and person... having a will of their own and freely choosing to try to get along with you. I would do that. :) But, in all honesty, Sean, that's what ppl need to learn to have healthy adult relationships anyway. So, always good to learn as a skill no matter if a person is the right person or not seems to me.
I spose it's possible we might see if we can grow into getting along or not -- and if financial pressure lifts.
I have no idea if we are God's will for each other. This is practical to look at it this way seems to me.
ttyl
FW: Power to Change: God is All Powerful
Laura
Nov 5
**I think you need to change too. You told me I needed to quit smoking and I needed to quit doing some other things.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 5
Dan (shucksful) said.... on one of my posts;
"What a beautiful prayer!!! THANK YOU so much!! I'm really happy for you Laura, and your new prayer center. You are doing such a fantastic job!! You are doing the RIGHT THING!! And that deserves ALL the respect in the WORLD!! DON'T STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, EVER!! You are on the right? track dear.... STAND YOUR GROUND! THE LORD HAS BLESSED YOU, AND YOU HAVE OBEYED!! Bless you Laura!!" -Dan
(I posted one of my prayers on my graceexplosion2 channel.)
I replied.
Thank you, Dan --- so much for the encouragement. It's what I've been called to do and have prepared for all my life. I've paid a heavy price for it also, and I sure don't want to give up now!! (There is quite an attack that comes against a start up ministry. :) Your words are such an encouragement. Thank you so much and God? bless you!! Laura
That's how I feel and what I believe. If a relationship is right -- it fits into my life as I answer my calling. But, Jesus comes before anything and He looked into my eyes and called me to my Word and prayer ministry.
Doesn't call the qualified. God qualifies the called. So, I just am going to do my work.
God bless!!
Laura
Nov 5
I'm sending my son a letter I wrote. I am asking him to get plates and insurance on my car for me, and drive it down here -- and bring me the rest of the $500 left he owes me -- plus the $200 Tim owes me.... OR, asking him to sell the car for $1200, send me the $1200 plus $500 he owes me plus the $200 Tim owes me. That's a total of $1900.
I'm mailing the letter and I will see what happens.
I am also considering doing a fundraiser on facebook that is for the Prayer Center. I am going to just state the December expenses of running the Prayer Center and see if ppl want to support it if I do that.
I'm also trying to think of what to do about having meetings here, etc.
But sending the letter I wrote. I think that when I get the Prayer Center up and running, and my family sees that, and especially if ppl start appreciating it somehow.... at a certain point they have to stop coming against my vision of my ministry and an active Christian Prayer Center. (sigh).
I'll see what happens.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 5
Just to say so, if I start getting support for my ministry -- and if I do get $1900 sent to me... of course I'm going to start paying you back money.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 5
I think this is different not having a phone. I gave you points to ponder in writing on that article. I think it's going to work like that. We will either "cycle out" and less want to try.... because things are not resolved to make us compatible (that we can and should change anyway to be better ppl for ourselves, the Lord, and a mate now or in the future). Or we will "cycle in" and make necessary changes and things will improve to make us more compatible (and we'll have a more peaceful and positive life of it).
It's "gonna show" whether we are God's will for each other or not. And, what I know is this, Sean, that you will either work on these things with me or someone else, or you won't have a relationship. I thought about it. You handled a ton of stress when I was in the hospital and there was conflict. It's not that you cannot handle stress or conflict. It's that in a relationship, you are not viewing it, responding to it, or handling it in a way that works. You're wanting to step outside of your role of being in the relationship -- to being the JUDGE of the person you are in the relationship with. You get insight from God and step into role of JUDGE and that's where you become someone you are not -- not being yourself.
You need to stop that. You get very pride-filled and self-righteous and critical. The problem is that you really think it's right of you to "listen to someone else's side" to a conflict -- then step into the role of JUDGE. You think you are "being a counsellor". No, you're not. You're stepping into the flesh, judging, stepping into the role of God... and it's very harsh because it's not the right spirit. I've told you repeatedly to stop doing that -- stop trying to listen to both sides then try to fix, manage, and control. I cannot tell you clearly enough that that is the flesh, stepping into the flesh, becoming a pharisee, it's NOT helpful, it's not how Christian ministry or counselling is done -- and you need to stop doing that.
If you stop doing that, I think you will be able to be happy in a relationship with me or someone else. You need to stop it, Sean. :)
I'll try to focus on other things -- I'm trying to get this message to you -- I think that's the heart of what I see you need to change. Because I know you can handle stress and conflict when you don't step into the role of JUDGE of others. :)
I really am not willing to bear that abuse, I think it is abuse, I think all your other girlfriends are giving you the same feedback... and I will pray for you. (I know I was personally "stuck" about how I would get offended and lash out at ppl. I think you are doing the exact same thing -- the same thing I do -- and so we both know that I'm not better than you. It's just that we all need to grow so that we can handle relationships with others and we stop the negative cycles.)
:) ~~ I am praying for you daily, Sean, even 7 times a day right now in my prayer for all subscribers. And, I know what it's like to have a weak spot and to have that anger come out at ppl. That's why you got mad at me -- and you really have the same exact problem. :) Except I do it on tapes,, not in person,, and you do it in person not on tapes. :)
lol God sure has put us together for a reason even if only for a season. We'll see if we're better for each other -- or another -- when God works us through things.
I do love you, Sean. :)
Love you in Jesus,
Laura
Laura
Nov 5
Hi Sean,
Rob is sending me money. Rob had flown somewhere to visit family. He just shared that he owned a business. He has money. He tested out paypal and sent me $10. He said it's a lot of money to send via paypal --- he may want to send it to me in a check or something. So, he's writing me about that.
I guess maybe he might send me $15,000. He's not sure. He says he might send it in increments. But, I believe he will send me $1200 per month or something is what he said. I was just praying telling the Lord that I don't want to wait for money for the last minute. I started doing the work, and I need Him to send me money. Then, I checked my email and Rob sent me $10 via paypal to test it, and is talking about $15,000 it seems.
He did send me the $10, so it's legitimate he is sending me money. I'll see what he sends me, then I'll be able to let you know when I get money what I can pay you back, etc.
Waiting on the Lord. Had another business owner contact me today telling me he wants to be supportive of my ministry -- but I think he was thinking personally not financially. But he said supportive. So, it's a good sign that God is moving.
I would like to get a car. I think if I had a car, I'd be happy able to get out a bit plus do the prayer ministry. And, I think I want a cat.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 5
Rob says this, "Your sooo welcome Laura. I will send you enough for a year to start. My credit card isn't up for that, so I guess I have to transfer funds from my account and that takes about eight days. Hang in there and thanks for for caring about an old broken down Christian. I love you. God bless."
So it will take about 8 days. I told my son I wanted the money for my car at the middle of the month. So, it will be about the middle of the month. I think he is sending me $15,000 or so.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 6
K, Rob sent me $10 in paypal. Then another $100 in paypal. So, I have $110 in paypal. He's going to send me the rest in the mail. He said the trip he took tapped out his credit card, so he has to get the transfer from his bank account and mail me the rest. It will be about 8 days.
I think that since he sent me $110 in paypal -- and he's getting a transfer... he may be sending me $15,000. We'll see. But, it's confirmed that he's serious about it having sent me $110 in paypal.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 6
The Lord told me that I could have my preference. I believe my preference is to have the Prayer Center and live in a separate house. I can even come to the Prayer Center for an 8 or 10 hour shift here -- but I believe it would still be my preference to have a separate house to live in.
I like that house on Summit View. If the Lord sends me $15,000, I believe then I would take that house. Because God will send me more money as well. Beverly prophesied over me, "Wealth is your portion" at that meeting I attended here.
As soon as I get that money, I am going to contact Ed and tell him that I want to rent that house for $1000 a month, I think... and also that I need some help getting a car.
There are other houses that I can rent for $1000 a month. But I want that house. And I want to rent a car == or do an end of lease on someone else's lease -- and not have to buy plates and such. I checked and there are deals out there where someone asks you to pay a specified amount and you take over the rest of their lease. So, then all I would have to do is negotiate that I want to stay on their plates and insurance. I think if I have out of state plates, that they cannot check on my insurance here (I dunno)... so maybe just the plates. I'll see how that works. But I think that is a way for me to get a car.
I'll see if Ed has any other ideas. I am not going to stay and live at this Prayer Center when I am given that money, because it is not my preference and God told me I could have my preference. Right now, not having a car, it's where I need to be cuz it is a 2 mile walk to church and I can walk there. So, with that money in hand, and since living here is not my preference, then I would move to rent another house -- and I want in preference the house on Summit View.
I need to pray about what I believe God wills -- but I have simple things I adhere to in general terms. (Like, I check to make sure the other person is certain... and I did do that before.) I will seek the Lord personally because I am entering my active ministry calling now.
GBU!
Laura
Nov 6
If the Lord sends me that money in the next 10 days or so... then I can pray about it and send you money where you are. I will see what money I get, pray about it, and I can send you money where you are so that you are not just sitting on your social security income alone -- but have that money as well.
GBU!
Laura
Nov 6
I need to pray further regarding the house rental. I think I may have a check from the Lord. That it may be what God wills to not do that but to make certain that I have all the funds for the Prayer Center itself (this apt) for a one year period. So, I think I may need to wait to see if money comes from elsewhere additionally to pay for the rental of the house. So, I may have mis-spoken on what God would direct me to do.
It requires further prayer. I do like to ponder in advance because proper planning is important. But, I am believing I need to pray further on this matter. I have to wait to hear from God on it... and I do like to be conservative and frugal first because I believe that is responsible stewardship. God did tell me before that I could have my preference, but that doesn't mean necessarily that my preference would be from this gift Lordwilling I receive it. I believe I need to pray further.... passing that along.
I will not "move" and take action until I hear from God and have a sense of peace... and I have to wait on this to pray further. Sorry for confusion. I need to pray more.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 7
Rob said he decided to draw the check from his business account. He says it will be in the mail today. I believe it takes a week for a check to get here from Canada where he is. Then, I'd have to open up a bank account and have the check clear here.
I see a car I would like to buy if all other things were equal. God bless. Laura
Laura
Nov 7
Stickin to the facts.. I am focused on facts and plans. Figure might as well just stick to the facts. I'm praying for everyone on my yt stuff and praying for you. I am thinking about getting a car. I think that's going to feel great... Lordwilling. If everything "happens as it appears"... I should have the check next week and maybe have it liquid by the week following. It's quite possible I'll have my car before the first of December. ??
I checked with Chris. He says that I can rent part of the upstairs from him. So, if you want to rent this apartment with Russell, I guess I can use the upstairs as the Prayer Center. I guess I can find someplace else to rent and will have transportation with my car.
I don't know what God wills on these things. But, I am able to rent part of the upstairs if you and Russell want to rent this downstairs. If I get the income from Rob, then I will be able to move somewhere else if you want that. I guess the getting the income from Rob is the main thing to make me flexible, then to hear from you what you want.
Cuz, if you don't want to rent this place here, and you don't want to live here in Ellijay... I'll be able to give you some money out of what I am getting from Rob. So, you would have some different choices available through that -- assuming I do receive this money.
It's a miracle to receive this money from Rob... and I'll let you know how that progresses.
God bless!!
Laura
Nov 7
Sean, I love Rob in the Lord and I believe he is a sincere brother in the Lord. He did send me $110 in paypal, and so I took him seriously. But, I believe he does have struggles personally. I think that he has to send the money by paypal for me to believe it is being sent.
I am going to pray for him. I love him anyway, and I appreciate the $110 he did send. I just think it's only going to be God if he sends it. He says things where I really don't know that he's stable. As I say, it was when he literally came through with the $110 that I began to take him seriously. It needs to be on a shelf. I cannot take his word for it right now because I don't know how great his personal struggles.
GBU!
Laura
Laura
Nov 8
Hi Sean,
Just prayin.... :) Prayin' cuz it's spiritual warfare. I am praying because it's not about this that or the other like at a level of things. It's about doing the work that God has given me to do... and walking it out. I feel like I am praying through for the body... and I'm like the ppl on The X Factor. I don't want to go home... like I want to stay and live my dream. For them, it's LA and all that stuff. For me, it's Ellijay. God bless you!!
Laura
Nov 8
Hi Sean, I am not trying to send money out of my paypal. But, it appears that I can send out of the account (without it being verified) up to $500.00. I have in paypal right now about $105. To verify the paypal account, I need to link it to a bank account. I'm going to "wait and see" about a bank account. I just don't want to do anything with my social security number now unless I absolutely have no other choice.
That is the update on the paypal. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 8
I think you're supposed to be with me. There is no one that I would agree to meet like I met you. How could I be so fooled?? I don't just up and go with someone. It required spiritual compatibility. I've prayed with a lot of ppl. I never felt what I felt when I prayed with you.
Plus I was dropped off at the hotel at 4:44pm. Was it June 27 or 28 you picked me up?? You picked me up at 4:44am. And things happened July 5 @ 4:44am... I felt a power release. It was 7 days from the day you picked me up. June 28 - July 5.
I think you are supposed to be with me. I think you're not perfect. I think I'm not perfect. But I think we're supposed to be together.
I just randomly "ran across" the tape from July 5 @ 4:44 am where I was "zapped". Then, look at the lightning storm that happened 7/21/12 remember where it was like Revelation 12??
Sean, please stop this with thinking that you can leave me. Please, Sean, we just need to try to be spiritual and mature and "make it past" our own glitches and woundedness and learn how to get along in the Spirit. Things are not going to be perfect. We are made perfect, we mature, and it's not perfect until it's perfect.
I want to put away all this talk about you leaving and us make this work because God brought us together. If I'm wrong, then I'm dead wrong. HOW IN THE WORLD... could I have left with you and you have come for me as a thief in the night... 7 days before July 4/5?? The picture of a Jewish wedding?? How did you arrive at my hotel at exactly 4:44 am??
We just have to learn how to let the Holy Spirit unite us and walk in the Spirit together...
I'm going to be totally blown away if you tell me that you've sought God and you don't think we are supposed to be together.
How did this happen?? How could it possibly "be" all that we experienced from the time you picked me up to July 4/5?? And the 7/21/12 lightning storm and all that??
I really think it's just that we are having to grow and it's painful to be united from the Lord. I think it is painful. But Jesus went to the cross, and we have to endure pain to grow.
It just makes no sense to me that we would be together all this time -- and not supposed to stay together... after how things happened in June and July.
I will continue to pray about it. All I know is to pray, Sean -- because this makes no sense that these things have happened if you are not a special person to me.
And, if you were not supposed to be with me, I don't think your "assignment could be up"... if Ken didn't come to get me.
For example, if you were John the Beloved -- but not Joseph... if you were a protector to me but not the man I was supposed to be with as an allegory...
the only way your assignment could be up -- is if that man came to get me.
Your assignment cannot end until I progress to the next step, and so you either have to be the man who I am supposed to be with -- or you are supposed to protect me until he comes for me.
That's what I'm thinking.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 9
I think you need to contact me, it's only good manners. GBU
Laura
Nov 11
I need to talk to you... it's important.
Laura
Nov 10
I'm going to be concerned something is wrong with you and that's why you are not contacting me if this keeps up. I'll try to leave it with the Lord, but how do I know that something hasn't happened to you with your health?? I hope not. GBU
Sean White
Nov 11
Yes, I have been having medical issues here that is bringing about concern. I'm just about at the point to going to the ER. I'm just waiting to confirm if the dilation is the issue.
You know that I do not comment or email too much. I know it is hard to understand, unless you were in my condition, but that takes a lot of effort. It's not like I can just type on the fly like everyone else. Not when I am sick or highly stressed. It is grateful that you can do this. Also, I told you that I needed a break and a vacation. That meant that I needed to step out of the stressful, emotional drama of everything. That is what I am doing. I told you I was not going to let my emotions talk, although I felt this is what you were doing in a few of your emails. Also, I had to step back because I disagreed with some of your views and they did not make me happy.
I do believe it is better being apart and it helps to think clearer. Sorry, but far as a chance with a relationship with each other: this is not good and should no longer happen.
Regarding living situation: iit could be a couple of scenarios. I have to include Russell into the picture. I can break down the expenses later if you like, but here is what I believe the options are:
I spent tons of money since May which was about $20,000, the over $30,000 was the interest that the banks charged, I think. From the calculations I think what you owe is $5000.
So, the first option is: that amount of $5000 and with my social could give a cushion for Russell and I to live somewhere else and enough time to find additional income from work and savings. Then you can keep the current residence. That is considering if your friend is sending you that other amount and you would take over the rent of the current living space.
Option 2 is: Russell and I would keep the current place and you would need to find another place to live from December forward. That is considering if the money does not come in.
Sorry but I got to work with what is logical. I know that Russell can help and we both can depend on each other. I have a history of living with him and I know we both come through for each other.
God bless,
Sean White
Laura
Sean White
Nov 12
to Laura
Laura,
OK, I had a decent day yesterday to go out and spend time with Russell. I comeback in the evening and have so many emails from you. I am glad that these last 2 emails are more gentle and nice. You might want to reread all the emails you have sent to me the past week. If you do this, place yourself in the other shoes and ask how you would respond when you read them.
I think that I did not speak clearly about my health issue with you yesterday and that has completely been blown out of proportion. So let me, first, clear that up. My health has not got worse sense I have been here. What I meant was that I think that I might have found the root issue that could be causing the on going issue for these past issues. I was testing to see if the issue was called dilation. Dilation is not a blockage. Dilation is when they have to stretch the jpouch out to make it wider. I would go to the ER to explain this to them and they can do this usually quickly, except that they would have to put me to sleep. It is not a surgery or something that I can die from. Just a quick procedure. At this time, I'm not if that is the issue. Stress has been the main issue and I have been under that. The only way that I could die or have that much complications is if I was getting under 100 lbs and dehydrated. I am no where near that again. I am sorry that I had you worry about this and that I did not provide you with clearer info. I guess that is because the conversation is through email only. My health is not getting worse or could get sick because I left or any of that other things that you thought. If that was the case, then it would continue to be a punishment for the past 3 years, since this is normal for me. My condition goes up and down because of emotional and physical stress. If you did a study of jpouch patients, doctors, or websites; it all states this. Plus, I know this because of my experience with it. Not everything is about things in the spiritual and needs to be viewed logically. So let's please stop with the I am getting sick because I left, rebellion, etc. Otherwise, we both would have to go with both of our dreams, signs, etc.
Plus, the other reason, I know that my decision wasn't bad, etc is: Other than, just the usual health issue, being here has been extremely peaceful. Being around Bill has been great. I was able to talk things through with Seayoun by phone and work out our issues. Yesterday my health was great during the day and so far today. It has been really enjoyable here and so much relaxation.
I appreciate the apology from your family. It was a nice touch, even though, I have moved on with that issue and do not think that had a huge percentage of our current issue. The current issue and stress is between you and I. Since you do not like me to get in the middle between issues that do not have to do with me. I can suggest that you reread your facebook conversation with your daughter, Nicole, from May. It is interesting that I reread that conversation 3 days ago, since I have it on my computer. If you are able to separate your emotions, you might be able to see a little clearer view of what she was really trying to say and not what you projected her to mean from your emotions. I am sorry, Laura, but I think this is a serious concern with your relationship with others. I have enough emails from you now to show this.
You are a very emotional and passionate person. That is not a bad thing, but it has it's pros and cons. It has to have balance. Again, you might want to take the opportunity to reread your emails that you sent me from this past week. But if you decide to do this, wait until you can read it when you have calmed down and you can see it from a logical view and not with emotions. I believe you are writing with impulses. I understand this could be hard to control emotions. We all have a hard time doing that, so I am looking at the mirror at myself. Also, we have to look at things from a perspective on earth too. Not everything has to be in a spiritual conversation. That is another reason that I had to get away. I now understand why so many people had such a hard time relating with me. I was always talking about dreams and visions and they thought I wasn't right. Your son was correct in that recent email about that Matt 10 riddle video about me. What I realized living with you was that I was looking in a mirror at myself 24/7. You are the first person that related on a platform that focused so much of the spiritual. Including dreams, vision, prophecies, etc. Being around it all the time
was great, especially at first, but had its downfalls. Talking spiritual non-stop everyday and nothing else is like being around someone that enjoys golf and that is all they talked about. Now imagine, being around a person that is a professional golfer and had some inner knowledge that he was the person that was going to make golf history. He was going to be the ultimate champion and that he was told that he was going to place golf on the map that would change the world. Then he just talked about all his accomplishment throughout his life and how this was going to make an impact for the world in the future. When you wake up each day, this is all he ever talked about. He didn't really talk about anything else. It was about him, his golf achievements, and just golf in general. When you tried to bring up another subject with him such as the X-factor, he used it as a way to turn it back into golf and about him. How would that make you feel? Would it encourage you about wanting to play golf? Or would you just be bored?
Well I am sorry. I now saw who I am about always talking about my beliefs and shoving
them down other people's throats all these years. I could not come to realize this until living with someone that saw things similar to me. I can't live that way. No wonder, Seayoun, Russell, and others had issues with me all these past years. I had no balance and in their shoes all they saw was someone that always talked about issues that they could not relate too. I didn't try to place myself in their shoes and speak on their level. Seayoun used to state that she had a hard time being around or viewing Christians correctly, because she projected them to be like me. I made her feel that she was not good enough to be a Christian and that she had to reach a certain level. She felt I was over spiritual and very judgmental. Looking back now, I completely understand what she meant from her POV. I am sure you have seen this in me, too. You have even hinted at this in our conversations. Laura, this is the way I feel being around you. There is no balance. It is always about from a spiritual standpoint and nothing else. Reading your conversation again with your daughter from May: She was stating that over and over. She was stating how she needed a break from the spiritual talk and then when you brought up that you might be martyred on the 4th. She lost it. She even stated in that conversation that she was concerned and that you needed help. All she was trying to say but couldn't word it right was, Mom, I am trying to relate with you and want to understand, but I can't. Because of her concern and felt that her relationship was shattered, she reacted the way she did. Well, now, I am in the same situation. I can not relate with you. Your conversations the past months have always centered around about who you are, what your accomplishments are, what you are going to do, etc. I don't believe in the medical labeling of things, but the world has there labeling about those type of things. It is like having a broken record player. That is all you talk about. I know more about your history of you than anything that has to do about your children or grandchildren. I have shared storied after stories with you about Nathan and my family. Pros and cons. Barely have you ever shared or talked about your children, except in the negative. You are Ok with people as long as they admire you. But when they disagree with you, it is like they are walking through hellfire. You do this with everyone. I know people have wronged you and you have felt your children have done this; but where is the real love? This is your children. The ones that came out of your womb. I am glad that you are able to start again with your family. Please look at things from both sides. If you continue to do this, you will have a hard time with other relationships in the future. I know you are probably thinking Sean, you need to look in the mirror. And you are correct. I do have this same issue. I am talking to myself when I am writing you.
Laura, you and I split up before I even left. I told you that there. I told you I could not believe in a relationship that had to do with that type of jealousy and viewpoints. I stated we were only roommates. I left because I needed a break of being around you. I could not handle the stress and needed to look out for my health. I know now that we cannot live together. If I was completely healed I might be able to handle your emotions more, but not now. There is too much imbalance in your emotions, coming from these past emails. They are almost quite scary. They present intimidations and almost threats. I cannot handle this. Sorry to be a harsh email and I hope that you can read this with a balance emotions. I hope you can see this logical. The quick impulse email, the way you view things is just too much. I can no longer be around that or all the spiritual talk about yourself. It is sad, because you are such a sweet and nice person. I got to see someone that maybe very few people get to see. You are very caring and good to many and mean well. I'm not sure if it from what you say is your descend to hell, but the emotions are just way over balance. They are quite dangerous actually.
This month is payed for, but Laura, I really need you to make other arrangements about living. Unless, you can take over rent and we can make an agreeable arrangements, you have just under 2 weeks to find a new place to live. Sorry, but I cannot and will not go through this any longer. I am sorry.
God bless,
Sean
Laura
Nov 12
Hi Sean,
I am not going to "respond in kind". In short, I will say that you seem to see yourself "above the fray"... in a way. Yes, you can see your own flaws because your flaws are all the same as mine. I could point out that you are actually, quite the same.
You are also being critical of me in a way that is unfair if you were walking in the same shoes as me. I am literally experiencing the birthing process of an anointing. You equate this with being proud and many things that are negative as you are being judgmental. But, you don't know what it is to give birth to an anointing of manifest glory after going through a literal burning. Your judgements are inaccurate. That's all I can tell you. Also, your sense of superiority is coming across and it is wrong.
I do believe you have grown, and that is good. But, I believe you have grown through the positives of relating to me, and not in the sense that you noticed so many potholes in the road that now you are a better driver. No, I think much of your growth is thanks to me rather than in spite of me.
Your note here is extremely judgmental. Of course I am upset. It is very challenging to handle the lack of communication, being so worried about you. Yes, it would have been better to give me accurate info I could understand. I literally began to worry that you might be going to the ER room because you had an obstruction. Also, I am giving you feedback and I don't think you like it. But, the feedback is necessary and even if you do not admit it, it has positive power in the Spirit of God to bring change to a person who has been very stuck in manners that others have clearly described as very problematic.
In all honestly, I believe your stuck set point is reacting against the feedback I am giving -- but, again, I sincerely believe the feedback is helpful, beneficial, and has power to set free.
I gave you feedback about the dreams and visions, and you have done a lot of growth in the past few months. I still say you can thank me for some of that, and I'm not receiving the put down that is coming from this sense of superiority and judgmentalism.
I'm glad you were able to talk to Seayoun in a positive manner. I've wondered if God showed you the wife swap so that you would be thankful for the wife He gave you in her -- and that's what that really was about. Sean, from the very beginning of relating to me, you were showing me signs, dreams, visions, and all of these things... and it was me talking to you about it helped you to grow. I'm just not going to accept this superiority and judgementalism.
Again, you would need to walk in someone else's shoes to understand certain things. I am literally in a time and season of birthing this anointing. The manifest glory is rising in me because I have been doing the exercises of prayer and progressing forward in them. I really don't appreciate the attempt to shame me like you are superior to me and I am "scary". Sean, you are a person who yelled in a way that was so harsh and you simply could not allow the other party to call you to account... though you were so judgemental of the other party. Your behavior in yelling at me in person was concerning to me, but what I see you doing is moving to posture yourself as superior as you become judgemental. It's very much an attempt to establish yourself in a way that is not right in how you relate to others. You really need to learn to stop it, Sean. I am glad you improved in relation to Seayonn, but please don't improve in relation to her by shifting the negativity in your character to me, as you turn to make me worse than I am in an unfair manner. It's that you need to become more positive, less judgemental, and you need to have a more positive relationship with women -- not that I'm all as bad as you say.
As far as us having fun, we had plenty of fun in the first few weeks. And we were very focused on the spiritual going on prayer walks and these kinds of things. You directed those activities as you will remember. You were that way when we first met as well. This was not me "making you that way" or "directing the relationship". Rather, it was how God directed it... and directed it through you.
We have not had money in the past few weeks, and it would have been fun to do some other things. We did other things together and were limited on cash.
I'm just not buying this, Sean. I'm not buying the smug superiority and the put downs of me -- and you playing shrink. I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself, really. I think it would be positive and beneficial if you would be respectful and not play the critic and judge in an effort to feel big at someone else's expense... when the veneer of that is quite thin.
You don't even make any sense trying to act like I'm so helplessly flawed and you are so above me... and that you grew not as a result of positives on my part -- but because of negatives.
You grew incredibly through a relationship with me in the positives in the Lord.
I could go through and read this more, and respond more, because it was so hypocritical. You are in no position to judge me about my children. Once again, you are doing the thing that you do where you get in the flesh as a self-righteous Pharisee and that's the whole tone of your letter. You "examine a side", then you "critique the other party" -- and you're just hurtful and proud.
It's not your good side, Sean, and so I don't take it that seriously. I'll let you repent and become humble in God's own time and work in you. But, your letter is being reviewed as that of spoken in the flesh. Yes, I agree that you have had growth, and that's good. But, also, you are getting in the flesh in another way also.
Just try to be nice, Sean.
As far as me leaving here, God's will will be done in that matter. I will hear from God, not you, about things related to His work in me. I didn't "get to choose" to be the person through whom this anointing must be birthed. It's not easy to endure a full descent into hell, and I am wrestling the enemy in prayer to move to manifest the anointing. I am emotional right now, and I am experiencing spiritual warfare, I am experiencing the birthing of the anointing -- and I think you're just trying to put me down and it's awfully cheap and insincere and fleshly of you.
I would advise you in the Lord to humble yourself and make an effort to leave things on nice terms through humility and being a gentleman. Because, you have some crow to eat.
In Christ,
Laura
Laura
Nov 12
PS. Sean, I think you are extremely highly suggestible. That is something I did not know at first. It's a problem. Because you are around some people, and you morph into being like them. Then, you get around other people, and you morph into being like them. You act like you are "objective" now. But it is no different than you listening to Paul and then attacking me on his say so... because he rubbed off on you so powerfully. I think you are a good person at heart. But, please recognize this in yourself and do not become so negative and critical to those who "you were with" and are "not with right now" -- as you are with other people. It's like being in cliques in high school... and being judgemental of others.. though you were just in their clique and were one with them a few days ago. Please stop this pattern of behavior, Sean. I reread your letter, and there it was again. It's like in high school, when people are cliquish, they've always got to pretend they are better than "the other group'. Please stop it, Sean, please recognize what you are doing and stop judging me when you absolutely loved me when you were in my clique. And, now, you are re-interpreting everything and being critical because you are not with me. Please recognize in yourself, Sean, that you can become like a chameleon and it's hurtful when you turn on people as you do... when in the company of others. You do not need to be unkind and critical and judgmental, acting like you are better than me -- because now you are in the influence of others. It's not been fun for me to deal with these past months, Sean, and I am sincerely asking you to recognize it and please stop doing this to me. I know you have a good heart in the Lord and have been hurt in your life, but please recognize what you are doing because I don't want to bear the brunt of it anymore... not in you talking to me... or talking about me. Stop it in the name of Jesus. God bless you.
Laura
Nov 12
For me personally, I'm enjoying our relationship now better than I have for several weeks. I cannot have you trying to pretend that you are superior to me and smashing me down in put downs, Sean. I'm going to give you honest feedback. Please just be nice. Please stop criticizing me and pretending you are better than me. It's terrible pride you have, Sean, and I know it's your problem. I don't judge you for it... but I'm going to call you on it if you do it to me. Hopefully, we can have a friendship.
I'm just not going to put up with it Sean. So, please don't write me with that attitude again. Please write in humility and love as a friend. Please be nice.
God bless you,
Laura
Laura
Nov 12
Hi Sean,
I have a logical question. (Let's please try to be nice here, k??) It's the 11/12 today. Praise the Lord! :) 18 more days to the end of the month - praise the Lord! :) Alright, I want you to know that I think it is important that we communicate in a way that is God-pleasing about our relationship. I am a bit thrown by the fact that I found that 1999 Quarter with the Charter Oak at my feet here. I do remember you got around Paul, and you did a 180 on me, then God spoke to you at the hotel. Now, we could have misinterpreted that. Like, if you feel called of God to return to your first wife, then -- obviously, I totally respect that in the Lord. However, if you are not moved to return to your first wife and are not moved to begin a new relationship, then I have to think about communicating where we are at right now.
Because it's going to be unnecessarily embarrassing if the Lord tells you later that you are supposed to be with me (which maybe He did after the Paul issue -- or maybe that was misinterpreted about the Charter Oak Quarter -- I am a bit concerned about finding that quarter like that). Like, embarrassing if we say something now, and then it's "not like that" when you get in this atmosphere.
So, I want to make sure we do not embarrass ourselves. If you feel confident that it is not situational or atmospheric -- that you are not presently in the flesh -- and you are sure that we are not meant to be and you know this in your spirit in the Lord (you would know best on that -- I still say I don't know for sure... I really don't)... then do you want to say something now??
If we say something now -- I want us to have a unified front on it and do things gracefully as possible.
I've said something only to yeohann, and I was nothing but nice and said nothing disrespectful. In fact, he remarked on how nice I was being in that he has more of a struggle when he breaks up with someone to be nice.
Anyway, please don't put me down, don't act like you are superior, please don't pretend that you are not responsible for your own actions in telling me you were the man for me when we met -- and God really separate of me having you go to Adam's crossing and all those places and things -- then us going to Philadelphia, NYC, and DC together (and you were leading in that Sean though I did have the leading of Philadelphia 7/1-4 I believe I got from the Lord personally prior to us meeting).
So, I believe God did lead you personally in things -- and I just don't want you to pretend that you were carried away by me personally directing you. I didn't direct you. I tried to follow your lead from the get go in the Lord believing you were the man for me so that God would lead through you, etc. And I tried to adjust to that.
So, I'm saying, that if we decide to say something... that let's please be balanced and fair about it.
I have no problem with it, Sean, because to me whatever God wills. Because it's either you or Ken most likely, and the main thing to me is the outpouring of the Spirit. And, y es, I am focused on it. God wants us to pick up our cross and follow Him -- and Jesus was about His Father's business and Jesus was about finishing the work the Father gave Him and going to the cross. So, I am focussed on the call God gave me perhaps more than others in a way -- because I did see Jesus in my salvation. So, I really don't know and I am right now birthing the anointing -- and it's going to be clear soon enough. (I have been thinking about things related to the atmosphere around Ken. Yet, I know God had you flip flop relative Paul.. and I found that quarter.) So, I don't know and it's okay I don't know. It's no big deal. It's whatever God wills. I like you and see Jesus in you. I saw Ken in the Spirit of God.
All I want is to know if you feel we should wait til December 1, in case this turns into public embarrassment if you flip flop -- I dunno...??? -- or if you'd like to say something now... or just what your thoughts are.
Please, no critique of me. :) But, considering the circumstances -- I want you to please think about it, and let me know in the next few days what you think and how you think it best to handle this.
Please let's just try to be friends. I am going to focus on release of the outpouring, not figuring out what God wills. I just am not going to speak ahead of myself because I've seen you flip flop already. It's what God wills that matters cuz that's where the Spirit of God is and that's where I want to be.
But, I have to think about communicating with my children, etc. and my friends on yt that support my ministry, etc.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 12
Anyway, about rent... As an FYI... right now I have about $310 cash. Also, the $200 that was an outdated check was supposed to be sent to me. So, if I include that, that is $510 I have towards rent. Don't know how much I will spend. Don't know how much more will come in. But, if God wants to give me rent money -- He will give me rent money. If God gives me rent money -- then pls communicate on if you have or can make other plans. It's what God wills, and I'm not that far off from it right now. I figure God makes His will known through circumstances. So, that's why I cannot sit and try to figure things out. I just walk things out. Certain things I know. I know I am called to start a 24/7 Prayer Center. I know I am here and this is a good location for that. I know God provided $400 at the beginning of this month in giving, then $110 -- and my son says that the $200 check I lost is supposed to be replaced. If so, I know God provided then this month... $710.
I could live on $710 a month here. I want to pay you back that money. That will take additional money.
God wants to do a ministry call regarding a Prayer Center and I love Ellijay, I am here at this place, it seems a great Prayer Center location -- seems to me that God is blessing it with income. Seems to me that my children have now come around and that is a blessing.
Also, I feel the anointing rising. No problem to me if God wants me to marry Ken. No problem to me if God wants me to marry you. I don't really care. I care about this anointing rising and completing my call. Everything else will fall into line as blessings. God says that we do not choose Him, but He chooses us. So, to me, I don't choose the man I marry. God chooses that and if I don't know -- I don't know.
So, please be in prayer about this place. God has a call on my life and if He wants me here He will provide for me one way or another -- and God's ministry is His business.
GBU!
Laura
Nov 12
Hi Sean, I am going forward with my ministry. I ask that since you have spoken that a relationship is over, pls then relate to me as a sister in the Lord who has a ministry call. Please respond to me in my ministry. I know those with ministries are not perfect, but it's not good to criticize ministries and those who are seeking to serve Christ despite their hurts, pains, faults, and weaknesses. I am actively doing my call to 24/7 prayer -- am moving forward with my call.. and I think that if you step away from relationship with me... it's appropriate to consider me then as a friend who is in fulltime ministry serving the Lord. It's just not helpful to come against ministries. None of us is perfect yet.
I'd prefer to have discussions now that regard me as a friend having a ministry -- so that proper care is taken towards the Lord's work. Ppl get together and break up. But you really upset me and I thought you were sick and could possibly die --- the whole Trail of Tears thing -- then hearing you said you might go to ER for dilation. If we are not together, then let's try to be mature, friends, and I really do have and am answering a fulltime ministry call. I really do need that level respect in the Lord for the sake of the ministry so that my ministry is not hindered or injured out of a personal matter that needs closure. We can just be friends if God wills that. It's important that you don't injure me being critical and trying to put me down -- human nature in a breakup -- I'm serving God in ministry.
I had a good meeting tonite with 2 ppl and did a Bible study. I feel my ministry is growing and expanding. God is giving me positive community.
I am a person who has not been accepted in the church. You can criticize me about how I communicate -- but when ppl did not accept you on the basis of your long hair, it did not edify you and help you to be a "good Christian" and perfect in your communication, etc. I've been terribly hurt and rejected for being who I am -- and that seems to be reversing now. I am successfully doing my ministry, I don't need further rejection and criticism as I'm doing my best to serve the Lord and do my ministry. Please don't bring up the past to me. It's a new day and I have ppl in Google hangout with whom I am forming relationship and I am successfully maintaining focus on prayer and ministry -- not reacting to all the attack out of hurt.
Please do not further criticize and accuse me of not being perfect. I am not perfect. I am a sincere Christian serving God in a full time ministry -- and never promised that I would be perfect. But I am seeking to serve the Lord and moving on.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 12
The trail of tears is known historically for all the PEOPLE WHO DIED going down that trail. You scared the daylights out of me with all that talk. Guess you don't see the connection. I'm thinking, honestly, I'd rather just be friends. If God allows it, it's my preference. I try to not go there -- but you don't even understand how you start saying the Trail of Tears -- God put you on that -- then you say you may have to go to ER... and you don't understand how I panic thinking you might die with your history and all that. You never said you were going to ER the whole time you were with me. The only time I heard of you going to ER was when it could go to the level of lifethreatening. I cannot take all the superiority posturing, the criticism, the put downs... etc. **** straight I'm going to get into anxiety and panic and stuff -- especially -- you act like you are perfect and it's just constant put downs. Explaining myself -- and I told you I had issues with panic and anxiety in certain situations. I told you I was AFU that way and could screw up in communication if triggered. Thanks for POINTING THAT OUT to try to shame me. Please, no more Sean. I just want to be friends. God bless.
Laura
Nov 12
Hi Sean...
If I don't have money to stay here in Ellijay, I am going back to Michigan the first of the month. I am done. I know that God did things in Philadelphia, NYC, and in DC. But you flip flopping now like you did with Paul, I am done. You have not been steady or consistent -- even when we were at the house in October -- we were still considering.
I think you are completely wrong in trying to say that it "bothers you" that I am "jealous". I have every right to tell you that either you stop having contact with a woman you have had relationship with at the level you did with Jamie, or you and I are not going to explore a relationship. That's normal and if you can find a woman who will let you do things elsewhere -- she's letting your flesh control -- and that's her mistake. I'm not that trusting of a man's flesh. So, you made a mistake and you are wrong in how you view "jealousy". The issue with the other gal, I discerned by the Spirit that she fed off of flirting with men who belonged to another woman or were not her own. So, I know her character. As stated, if I met her, that could have been different.
You have issues with lust, Sean, and you have flesh problems like all men do. You are not a paragon of virtue who can be blindly trusted, and no men are.
The Lord will tell you in the proper season that you were wrong about that.
But the issue is that you flip flop so much that it's too confusing. You are not stable. I don't know why it was so in the Spirit in our prayer walks and all that.
But, even if you were the man God willed for me, the door would be closed to you now, Sean. I have had enough.
I will either do the Prayer Center in Ellijay (and if God provides in 2 weeks -- I'll do it upstairs and rent elsewhere if you want this downstairs)... or I'm going back to Michigan.
But, I'm telling you, that even if you ARE the man God wills for me, the door is closed. You need to learn your lesson even if that is the case. I'm not "on demand" to you. You're not honest about how much you have flip flopped, your last letter to me was not realistic.
The door is closed. So, it's not you saying this and me letting you flip flop in case you get in the Spirit and realize you screwed up -- if that happens. Doesn't even matter if you are the man God wills for me.
The door is closed.
I'll let you know in the future, maybe in 3 months, if I'll open the door back up if you are the man God wills for me. Let's please just stick to the facts of figuring out housing, because the door is closed to us being together -- and that door is closed EVEN IF you are the man God wills for me -- for 3 months seems reasonable. When you say we are done, that doesn't mean we are done. You flip flop nearly constantly -- then pretend you don't.
I'm putting my foot down now. And if I am the woman for you, oh I'm just the woman you need. If not, then I cannot handle the concept of the door being open. :)
A sense of humor helps, Sean, and I think you take things much too seriously.
God bless,
Laura
Sean White
Nov 12
to Laura
I have signed a leased contract with Chris today with me being the sole tenant. I need you to remove asap or I will have no other choice to evict. I am also contacted if I can refund on the jail bond. I do think you need to go to Michigan but I will not be held accountable for you leaving the state. I have been in contact with the jail bond place and waiting for a callback. Make those arrangements now. This is over. I am in contact with the enforcers now on how to deal with this. You have left me with no other choice.
Laura
Nov 12
I forgot... Ellijay and the fine... I cannot go back to Michigan because of this court stuff. So, God would have to work out that fine and clear that up so I could plead out and leave... or I'm not leaving Ellijay. I cannot. So God did that. Sure makes it look like He wants me in Ellijay.
But, I want the door closed to you. I want you to realize it's not up to you anymore... so that if you are in the flesh right now... and God speaks to you later... just never mind. LOL I don't need this flip flopping so, I need to shut the door myself.
If you are the man for me, your flip flopping is unacceptable. I have to have the door shut. I cannot know right now, but I cannot have this. So, given that I cannot leave Ellijay unless that fine is paid -- the money for the fine has to manifest or something and I have to plea bargain out -- or I cannot leave.
I have been through flip flopping since August, Sean, and I'm done. God has to make a way for me to pay that fine before I can leave Ellijay -- but the main thing is that I start my Prayer Center. So, it sure seems right that I'm to stay here, Sean.
I've had it, Sean, you can sincerely do enough that a woman has just had enough.
Enough. And when you get in the Spirit, you may be apologizing to me like you did over the Paul thing. How do I know?? I have no way of knowing and I cannot go on like this. :)
But I forgot about the ticket and seems like you would know that your personality type and the emotional type are the opposites that attract. I don't need the criticism for writing these emails. I don't need the critiques.
I need to shut this door, Sean, I cannot take this anymore. I just cannot. I still think it's possible you're God's will for me, I dunno, but I do know I need the door closed now.
God's in His Heaven... He needs to provide for me about the fine.
Now that I made up with my family, and God worked that, hopefully they will bring me my car. If not, maybe they will pay the fine so I can get that paid and leave if need be. I believe God brought me to Ellijay..... and we will see.
I don't think you are in the Spirit, Sean... so I have no way of knowing what is real. And when you are in the FLESH -- there's no way for me to know if you are God's will for me or not.
I don't know.
I do believe it's God's will for the door to be shut to you.
Can't tell you if you are the right man for me and it will open in the future... but I believe the door must shut.
You're getting under my skin. :)
God bless!!
Sean White
Nov 12
to Laura
Well you can't stay there. I have talked to Chris. I have scanned him the lease agreement. He told me that I can now do the eviction. I will be in contact with the police tomorrow. If they can have you remove sooner then I will request them to remove you soon. I am sending all the emails to the police and filing a complaint. Enough is enough. No more emails.
Laura
Nov 12
Sean, you are not going to reason with me... and be superior. I'm praying to God and shutting the door. I am finishing up -- and I won't have further contact. I'm going to vent. That's an emotional woman for you!!! You are under my skin with months of flip flopping -- God only knows if it's the same pattern as Paul... I'm not open to listen right now. God bless!!
Laura
Nov 12
I listened to you for months and I don't want to listen now, Sean. Please don't email me. I sincerely believe, after all of your flip flopping, you can listen. I would not have left Michigan if you had not said FOR CERTAIN you knew you were the man for me. You have flip flopped so back and forth... my concern is that you will flip flop again... and I cannot take it. I'm shutting the door... and I can figure out facts later. I'll see if my family brings me my car, sends me money to pay that fine, what not. But YOU ARE MESSING WITH AN APOSTOLIC MINISTRY -- and enough is enough. GBU
Laura
Nov 12
I'll read your emails in a few days maybe. Hopefully, it's nothing urgent. My focus is on getting the message out of me that I am shutting the door. I have to shut that door. What is coming through that door is not producing the strength and stability that will propel my ministry forward... and Jesus and my ministry call comes first. I don't have relationships with men that are not God's will, and I don't allow them to throw around my apostolic ministry. Jesus looked me square in the eyes and called me to my ministry. I've endured a full descent into hell for that call, I will die for that call if necessary, and there is no man on God's creation who is going to start throwing me around so that I am not steady to do my ministry. No more flip flopping. Door closed. I need to close the door, protect my anointing, focus on my ministry, and THE APOSTOLIC MINISTRY comes first to me. Yes, it does. You're throwing me around. I don't know if you'll flip flop again and this is a time when I am answering my call and powerfully wrestling in prayer. The full apostolic power gift of faith will release as I continue in my ministry -- and it will release the outpouring that is my calling. Please excuse me while I shut the door to you -- so I can answer my call to focus on PRAYER and APOSTOLIC MINISTRY. I don't need you further attacking me saying I am boasting and all of that. It's Satan coming through you to attack me, Sean, and I am shutting the door. I'll read your emails later. This calling is #1 to me.
Laura
Nov 12
Sean, you say that you have peace away from me. Yet, when we were in Philadelphia, you said that you had great peace and powerful ministry of the Spirit. This door is shut, Sean. The inconsistency is so confusing to me, that I have to shut all doors and focus on my ministry. I don't think you realize that I really am the apostle of Revelation 12. That means I have to be aware of SATAN coming after me. And if you fall, and if you were/'are the man for me and you don't stand up in the pressure.. then the door has to close to you. And, if you are not the man for me, and we were in Philadelphia together... and now this, I don't get it. But, either way, the door has to be closed. I am literally the apostle of Revelation 12 moving to answer my apostolic call to initiate a 24/7 Prayer Center to release full miraculous healing.. then transfiguration glory. (I was trying to do that when I tried to leave to start that in June --and when it was blocked, I said that it showed that July 4 was not lining up to be date of transfiguration.) Anyway, this is JOB #1 TO ME ~~ and I have to keep the door shut so that Satan doesn't come through that door. I have not been doing my prayer rounds for the last 2 days. I cannot understand how you flip flop. I cannot understand the travels we had before.
You are talking like a person who doesn't realize I really am the apostle who releases the endtime move of the Spirit through a 24/7 Prayer Center -- and you are not holding up against the enemy. To hold up against the enemy, there must be focus on the work of the ministry.
I am glad my children contacted me. That's positive in the past 2 days.
BUT, I know the enemy is going to try to pull out all stops to get me where I'm not praying.
I must return to my prayer rounds tomorrow. The only way I can chill out regarding you is to shut the door to you.
You cannot be talking to me further, either, as if the PRAYER CENTER is not the #1 thing.
I was leaving Michigan to start a Prayer Center gathering in preparation of transfiguration. I know God wanted me in Philadelphia 7/1-4.
But, now, you are thinking your personal feelings are more important than the Prayer Center calling -- and I just cannot trust you, Sean, to keep your mind clear against Satan who really just wants me to not pray or have a Prayer Center.
I don't think you understand how distracted you are from what is important to me and that I specified when we met -- and it's like you are wanting to take things on a whole different level, as related to me. You cannot do that.
God has set me apart for this calling. I have not changed.
I have been about Apostolic Prayer ever since we first met. You've changed. I cannot trust you to stay on focus and on mission. I have to be in charge. Satan will mess with anyone's mind who doesn't come under submission to my apostolic authority relative my apostolic commission.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 13
Sean,
The foundational doctrine I shared with you is powerful in driving Satan out of ppl. The sinful nature is the open door to the devil himself. We are all battling the enemy for sanctification of our souls. I noted that you did not have a solid base in grace doctrine, you had a background in witchcraft, and you were left vulnerable by knowing only Spirit-filled doctrine. It can generate a religious devil python spirit. You were not able, when I met you, to communicate better. You were having gifts of the Spirit in dreams and visions, but you were not bringing that gift to maturity. You were speaking in a manner that caused ppl concern. The doctrine that I shared with you will empower the Spirit to sanctify you in greater power to stand against the enemy and it will drive him out. With all the witchcraft that was previously in your life, I think you had a lying spirit most likely that worked in you. The devil knows my calling -- and somehow was able to bring you into my life in ways that appeared to be the Spirit in prayer walks, etc.
When you tell me that you are better able to relate to your wife, and are outgrowing religiousity and immaturity in gifts that created issues, to me it is the work of the Spirit through the engrafting of the Word strengthening you.
I have to assume that it was due to witchcraft in your past that you came into my life claiming to be the man God willed for me. This is too concerning to me. I have a call to answer. The doctrine I shared with you will generate power in the Spirit to stabilize you so that you are not so "superspiritual" with people and harsh. Grace will begin to come through. If you are able to reconcile with your first wife, I'm happy for you. The spider you saw in the room being driven out of the room when I prayed, that you said was witchcraft, I have to wonder if it was the witchcraft in which you engaged and that stronghold being driven out.
I really am an apostle moving to answer a call to generate 24/7 Prayer. If God wills for me to do it here in Ellijay, well. I'll see.
I have literally endured a full descent into hell and am on the frontline against Satan globally in apostolic intercession. If I do not have solid support in the body of believers -- being accepted and bonded with a body of believers -- I am hit hard where I cannot fully function.
Your criticism of me is so unfair. Attacking me about my children, etc. It's situational because of the anointing in me, my sufferings, and not being connected with the body in fellowship. I have sought that fellowship in the ways where I could receive it, and that is first fb, then yt, now Google hangout, etc. The more powerfully bonded I am with other believers, the more I will have spiritual strength against Satan to do my ministry in prayer -- rather than sending an "SOS" to the body that the apostle of Revelation 12 is trying to emerge to answer her call but is being opposed by Satan. Really, do not further judge me in the matter, Sean, please.
I do hope you are edified and can have greater balance in your life. Your lack of balance, I believe, was due to lack of engrafting sound doctrine compounded by the witchcraft that had access to your life in the past. It made you very harsh to live with in a relationship.
I hope you and Seayong (sp??) will now be able to have a healthy and balanced relationship - and that your own spirituality will not be so opposed by the enemy. I think that you having engaged in witchcraft generated a situation where your gifts could not come to maturity, and that your Christianity was not solidly rooted and grounded in love. The engrafting of the grace doctrines I shared with you in the 5 points of Calvinism will begin to cure you, basically, in empowering that rootedness and groundedness so that you can close the door to the spirit of witchcraft of the past. Engrafting the Word is powerful.
I'm not receiving your criticisms. I believe you owe me a debt of gratitude at some level for sharing with you the doctrine that releases the anointing that will bring healing to your soul and power to close the door against the devil in your own life.
I need you to please focus on working out your own salvation, not trying to feel big at my expense. Gratitude is a wonderful attitude. You had the opportunity to be around a woman who has an anointing on the doctrines of grace... and that is powerful ministry of anointing to get you "unstuck" relative the areas you were stuck in -- edifying you in power to engraft the Word of God in the power of the Spirit so that you can be rooted and grounded in love growing in stability and strength by grace as a Christian.
I'm letting you go.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 13
I haven't read your emails.. Sean, I believe God wants me to process through things myself right now. I've listened to you, let God speak through you, and God is not the Author of confusion. You've flip flopped and I need steadfastness. I feel it appropriate to shut the door. I spose I'll talk to you by the 1st of the month. I'll see who supports me and does what and all that. God will lead by circumstances leading me to where He wants me to be to do my Prayer Center.... here or Michigan. But, I will not have an open door to a relationship with you because I have to close that door so that there is no more flip flopping. I think you are a fine person as a friend. GBU!
Laura
Nov 13
This testimony from a man who attempted suicide 4 times:
"I've been watching your ministry and your wonderful prayers. It feels like your praying right at me, with some of them I'm sure you are...lol. Laura I don't know what came over me, actually I do, and I'm working on it but it's obvious that I need spiritual help too. It's so hard not to be angry with it all. That's not an excuse. I have healing to do and it's up to me. It's time to stop blaming and get with the present instead of loathing the past. and myself... thank you. " Please do not try to tell me that anything that you would find fault with deserves more attention than that which blesses those I serve in Jesus in my ministry. I am predestined to release full miraculous healing. I thought to pass this along in the hopes that you might become more free to consider the positive in the Spirit of God and let go of all the criticism. God bless. Laura
Laura
Nov 13
I may be able to pay the rent here for next month. We'll see. I'll really want to have rent before the end of this month if possible. I don't want emails right now. I won't read them. I don't want to react. But, if I can pay the rent for next month, I would rather that you waited to pick up your stuff giving things more time... or I'd prefer not to be here when you pick your stuff up. I'm a little freaked out. It's just odd to me that you did all these prayer walks, and now say what you say. I think you have a python spirit. And it's quite confusing to me, because I don't know if the python spirit completely falsified so that I believed you when you said you were the one for me. We matched so well in prayer, and no, that's not anything I've experienced before in that level compatibility. Or, I don't know if the python spirit is why you are so critical and harsh to me and you are the person to me.
But, this sense of confusion has gotten to the place where I am quite uncomfortable now and think the best thing is for me to pray and avoid you. Just let it lie. God bless you.
Laura
Nov 13
Also, if it works out that I leave for Michigan, you have a key here and I will try to leave before you come here (if that happens). I just myself don't think that's the most likely scenario. Because, God has called me to do a 24/7 hour Prayer Center. I'm wanting to feel safe right now, Sean, and to focus on my prayer. I cannot understand the past few months, the flip flopping, and I just want to let it all lie and not deal with it. I just want to try to avoid the situation and let it lie. God bless you.
Laura
Nov 14
Hi Sean... I believe this is a time for me to process, and for you to listen to me. (If you so choose to read my emails. I will not read yours at this time. I will talk to you later towards the end of the month.) You had a dream that a large snake bit me. I became that snake. You were trying to lie still over a lot of snakes. They said that if you didn't move, they wouldn't hurt you. I've read up on a python spirit. Those with a python spirit are said to have these snakes telling them not to move. (I also notice that I don't want to move in relation to you -- and I am now adopting the same methods you use of wanting space, not wanting to hear you right now.) So, it all fits your dream. Also, the dream you had about the locks. Because, right now, I cannot handle the thought of us being together and have to close the door for my own peace. (I do feel bitten by a python spirit in you.) In your dream, you went away for a rest, and when you tried to come back (you will need to come back to at least get your things)... I was speaking in my ministry separate of you and people did not want you to be near me. I feel that way right now.
As I move to examine "how I feel" and "why"... I just know I am freaked out right now. I really cannot say "that's the Holy Spirit"... it's just how I feel. It's not so much a "discernment of the Spirit" I would get fully in the Spirit, I feel hurt so that I do feel that I have been bitten.
So, I cannot interpret still whether we are meant to be or not -- all I know is that I have been hurt and I don't know if we are meant to be, so I don't want to be together since I don't know and I have been hurt.
I don't know what this means for the future -- if how you appeared to be so compatible with me was like a chameleon and not really spiritually fully true in me thinking you were the man for me... or if this has all just been the 2 of us together the fact that we are both not yet perfect in Christ.
I can understand you having a python spirit due to being pulled into witchcraft. I really don't have a judgment or condemnation for it.
I have been burned and I have anxiety reactions at times.
I just am going to pray and wait on the Lord further. I know how I feel right now. I am just thinking about your dreams, not really being able to interpret them to know if we will ever get back together again or if Ken is the man for me.
Time will tell.
I'm really not "mad at you", Sean -- I just don't want that spirit to have access to me and I don't understand what has happened. If you are not the man for me, it would be best that I pray for you and recover myself and go forward in the Lord by myself.
There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk according to the Spirit and not the flesh. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. God does not condemn us. But you also said you were better able to get along with Seayung (sp??). So, you should really examine whether you having a python spirit is why you couldn't get along with her before, and if you are supposed to be with her and not me. I think as you are delivered of this -- and I am continuing to pray for you -- that it will become clear to you.
What matters is God's will. We are all growing in the Lord.
It's not that I'm mad at you -- it's that I need to pray and wait on the Lord.
I'm not mad at you either way because I know you are a Christian and I know you have been hurt as a child and are healing.
God bless you Sean
Laura
Nov 14
Hi Sean,
I'm asking you to consider the feedback from my ministry, "Thank you for saying that..:) I think you might be happily surprised about who I am when I'm not drunk. It's been a long time since I've been sober. Congratulations, your one of the first to meet ***his name removed for anonymity***. I dare say you saved my life. I'm getting there...:) I have a lot to re learn. My faith has been shattered and well as my life. That which does not kill us, makes us stronger....bring it!!! God bless and TU!" Sean, I'm wanting you to see this so you realize that God is saving people's lives through my ministry. I am predestined to release full miraculous healing. I know what it is to be badly, badly hurt inside. I "dare say" I know what it is to react to someone the way you react to me. It's how I have in the past reacted to ppl on yt. I have been outgrowing that by the way. But, what I'm saying is that you would do well to look at the positive and start appreciating my ministry, being less offended at me, and not reacting at me with rage and hostility in pain in harsh criticism. I pray you heal, too. I know what it is, Sean, to be hurt inside. But we have to heal and grow -- and I do think you need to realize that you would do well to lose the critical spirit towards my ministry and me. I think this will help you even if you are to return to seayung (sp?? - sorry I don't spell her name right). Please see that God is already healing and restoring Christians through me -- and the power of the Spirit will rise in me and through me to the level that there is full instantaneous miraculous healing -- even for conditions such as yours in recreative miracles, etc. I am praying for you. God bless you, Sean!! Laura
Laura
Nov 14
Hi Sean,
I am sharing with you what I shared with a man who wrote to me. I feel moved to share this with you and for you to hear. Because I told him to revisit the events of the past, no longer "reliving them" as from the eyes of the person he was then trapped in the situation, but rather going back as a man now looking back on the event from the outside with Jesus with him. Looking at the matter objectively. With Jesus. To shrink it and to expel it's power from his soul. I asked him to revisit an event. He wrote me back and told me he was molested by a man and raped when he was 5. (probably his father... or stepfather... he didn't say but alluded to that). I was moved in the Spirit to write this to talk about how we can now look with Jesus and break the power of it -- by going back to the future in Jesus, now as adults with Him. (I gave him space to do this in prayer -- but he actually "involved me" by telling me, and so I felt to minister and speak to the situation standing there with him "holding his hand" so to speak, looking at the matter today. Jesus being there with Him... through me as it seemed. :) I didn't know that would happen in this first instance - but that is ministry. Sometimes ppl can go to Jesus themselves, sometimes ministry is that they come to you and Jesus in you ministers to them through you.)
Passing this along, Sean ~~ I believe it's power of my prayer setting this man free. Because I have been praying the blood of Jesus and the breaking of the power of Satan to hold us behind walls -- but rather strength in Jesus of "power of return" to be "present" (that's repentance, Sean, when we come out of the darkness pulled back, wounded, offended -- behind a wall -- and gain strength in Christ to be confident, joyous, healed inwardly, SANCTIFIED IN THE SPIRIT -- thus present in these mortal bodies shining in the light of God's glory). I see it happening. Not religious concepts of repentance, but real power of return to live in these mortal bodies by the Spirit of God -- not "pushed out of them" (offended) and lacking strength to be fully present here in these mortal bodies in the love of Jesus. I might do a talk on this view of sanctification in the near future -- I'll see. Maybe in one of my prayer meetings... we'll see.
But please see below conversation.
God bless you!!
Laura
Here's what he said: "I'm not good at talking about this but yea. It hurt to the core.When your a little guy of 5 years old and this guy thinks it's a good idea to have you, it changes things. My whole life I've been trying to protect myself from things that aren't there....Idk. All my life, my twin brother and sister have looked to me for everything. And I had it! This whole thing has been a massive loss, you wouldn't get it...it's huge. I'm sorry, maybe you would get it. I've felt so isolated for such a long time that I never thought anyone would get it.
I need to find my way back to God. Through youI can do that.I know your willing to help, and God bless you for it.
I love you Laura"
******************************
I responded (this is new ministry, Sean...)....
I fell asleep last night. I'm glad you told me and shared with me the core suffering. I didn't dare "tell you" to go back to that core suffering with Jesus. I'm like feeling like I could cry right now, because it occurred to me that Jesus is in me, and you went back to that experiencing sharing in part the suffering of it with me by saying that. We are BIGGER THAN THAT NOW, FRIEND!! WE ARE NOT 5 YEARS OLD!! WE ARE GROWN UPS!! And we can look at it, and feel for what a pathetic sad sap the man was to do such a thing to a little innocent child. And we can look further and see that we fight not enemies of flesh and blood but spiritual principalities and powers of darkness -- dark rulers of this world -- spiritual wickedness in high places. We can see that that was wicked. And, we can look again, and see a spectre moving that man that was not human and was not really "him". It was a force of evil and an entity that controlled him beyond his ability or strength to stop. "Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do..." And he has no power to hurt the innocence anymore, because the blood of Jesus has caused us to be born of God in the Spirit of God in true righteousness and holiness. WE ARE PURE and UNDEFILED IN THIS WORLD!! IN JESUS!! Is what I say as I hold your hand and look at this again with you.
Luke 1:74-76
King James Version (KJV)
74 That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear,
75 In holiness and righteousness before him, all the days of our life.
76 And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest: for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways;
ames 1:26-27
King James Version (KJV)
26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
The blood of Jesus has power to cleanse us of our own sins -- AND of the DEFILING SINS of others towards us in a spirit that is not of God:
Isaiah 1:17-19
King James Version (KJV)
17 Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.
18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
19 If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land:
I think we are breaking the power of that evil spectre who sought to defile your CONSCIENCE. GOD SAVES US from a defiled conscience through Jesus Christ and by His blood we can expel all the defilement of acts done to us so that we are perfectly healed and holy and pure in Him, for we already are in spirit and in truth.
Hebrews 9:13-15
King James Version (KJV)
13 For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh:
14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?
15 And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance.
I believe God shows me you need a pure conscience -- to break the power of that defiling spirit that defiled that man and sought to wound your conscience and thus defile you. It's the soul would from which we must recover:
1 Corinthians 8:11-13
King James Version (KJV)
11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ.
13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.
What happens when we are children is that our conscience is weak. We have not yet formed strength to form our own conscience powerfully -- unless powerfully graced with a powerful relationship with God in Christ (then we can stand with greater strength of our own conscience before God in Christ.) But this is why they say, "Children are impressionable". A child's conscience is weak. They take what other people say and do and make it "real" to them being impressionable. They allow it to form their own SOUL -- CONSCIENCE -- CONSCIOUSNESS. That is why I felt to say to go back and look now. I really was thinking of an event that happened when you were a child, but I didn't want you to be hurt so I wouldn't say it myself. But you have now answered and so I speak to you.
Matthew 18:5-7
King James Version (KJV)
5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
God is calling us to purge our consciences through faith in Him and the power of His blood. God is calling us to rise up against the oppressors not by might nor by power but by His Spirit. God is calling us to be healed, delivered, set free and to have our consciences purified by the blood of Jesus which just brings these offenses to DUST that disappears (that's the word picture I have). Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. We're BIGGER in JESUS than the sin that has been done to us -- and we can BREAK IT'S POWER to offend us and defile our weak consciences in Him. We can see ourselves in Jesus, holy and righteous, pure and undefiled -- healed, delivered, and set free.
God love you in Jesus,
Laura
Laura
Nov 14
I am erasing your last 2 emails unread, I figure you can resend me what you will later. But I feel like you are in a harsh and critical spirit -- I don't really know when you are really in the Spirit of God who you are in Christ. Maybe you belong with Seayong (sp?). I don't know. But, I think it best that I erase those 2 without reading them. I'll talk to you later. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 14
Trying to remember your dreams, they do tend to come true. When you saw the spiders like crabs on the power lines and stuff... wonder if we were here together?? I think that one is in the future. I'm hit/bit hard right now where I am waiting to see. You flip flop, and there's a python spirit moving through you -- and you were mean to me after talking to Paul... and then you 180'd. I am going to wait a week or something and see. The combo on the door here french doors was 8686... 1414 another way of looking at it... or 7777. I don't want to leave here, Sean, unless it is to go to the nicer house. The desk is here for my work and the globe... and it seems right to me. I personally do not want to be driven out of this prayer center. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 14
I'm breaking through... Sean, breaking through is like when you adjusted to speak conversationally rather than in your "riddle". Likewise, I move into the release of my gift instead of "saying who I am", etc. It will get to the point I say nothing, and smile, and manifest glory will release. I didn't criticize and try to embarrass you about how you spoke in the riddle thing. I understood you were moving to enter the "realm" at a spiritual level. When we get to the highest levels, Sean, we lose the "superspirituality" -- and we just "be"... but at the HIGHEST LEVEL OF MANIFESTATION OF THE SPIRIT OF GLORY AND MIRACLE WORKING POWER. But, as we are rising to that level... there are growing pains where we are functioning in gifts striving to "bring it" -- where it because smooth and simple and casual like how Jesus ministered. I'm EMERGING to answer my call, Sean. Of course I'm going to be "stuck" at a certain level as I move to emerge. I'm CARRYING full miracle working power to release and deliver it to the body of Christ. To act like "I'm wrong" for being the way I am and criticizing me... like I'm supposed to be less spiritual.
I've given my life to hit the levels I'm coming to emerge and release.
This is why I don't think you should be around me since you don't appreciate me.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 14
Sean, I put all your stuff in the pool table room. Please don't email me until it's time to make decisions about who's going where, etc. We'll figure out logistics. I will make sure that I have all of your stuff in the pool table room. Then, if we figure it out that I stay here and you want to come pick it up -- you can let me know when you're going to do that -- and you can really have Chris let you in from his office side to get that stuff.
So, then you don't need to come into the side where I am living. You know how I am about how ppl when the criticize me, I block them.
That's where I'm at. I figure you've harshly criticized me, and I'm processing through a bit, but I don't want further contact. Like, since you said you wanted to end the relationship, and you were highly critical and harsh with me, that it's really best that in this situation, the more I'm thinking about it -- that we just should not have further contact really. Except logistics on things, and about me paying you back and talking about that when it's practical.
If I leave and you stay, then it's ez for you to get your stuff out of the pool table room and put it where you want and do whatever you want. It's just it would seem pretty odd to me if God really wanted me to leave this place. So, hopefully, I will stay and then you will pick up your stuff at a certain point. When you do (if that happens), like I say, I'd rather that you had Chris let you in from the other side and you did not come into the living area where I am staying.
You have confused me with inconsistency. I don't want to be confused by more contact with you.
You know how I am about ppl criticizing me where I think they are harsh. I don't need to be hurt like that and battered and stuff.
It's really all going to depend on how God leads through provision. I'm cleaning the place more. I've got that bedroom more dusted and cleaned out better.
If for any reason I do leave and you stay here -- I'll have the place really clean for you. I'm cleaning it more and more. I just really want to stay here -- and because you were harshly critical and flip flopped... I just cannot really handle it at a certain level. You know how I feel the need to block ppl?? You know how I am, Sean, and how I think it's best to protect myself and end contact. That's what I'm thinking.
I know you don't respond to ppl. So, you do the same thing in a way. So, I'm thinking, let's try to wait to the end of the month near abouts. And make arrangements as needed.
And please respect that I told you that you hurt me, that my ex verbally abused me terribly -- he used to sit me in a chair and yell at me for hours with the most helllish verbal abuse. Then, he blasphemed the Spirit in my presence. So, you can criticize me for the way I respond to ppl on YT and such -- but you have NO IDEA what it is to experience what I have gone through -- and I just don't want to hear anymore criticism about it. I block ppl now, Sean -- because I endured 15 years of terrible verbal abuse. I told you before you left that you were hurting me.
And, I'm shutting down now.
I've processed through some, I'm shutting down, and I'm shutting the door now.
I'm cleaning this place, and I do pray in the Lord that this is my Prayer Center and I get to stay. I hope also to pay you back ASAP. A brother had a vision today of me on a tour bus or an RV travelling the country to set up prayer ministries and speak to ppl in cities across the USA.
Like Trinity in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBIpW16Tp8k In a way the lyrics are kinda opposite if a person thought that way -- about the one thing from the other side. But, it's parallel opposites. His vision reminded me of when it talks about her having a motorcade going coast to coast on a campaign trail, etc.
I thought you were Neo to my Trinity. But, Sean, you turned into my worst critic rather than my best friend. And, you used to be fun when we were having an adventure together and you wanted to be Neo to my Trinity.
The door is closed.
Lyrics below...
God bless,
Laura
Baby's got an atom bomb
A **** atom bomb
Twenty two megaton
You've never seen so much fun
Baby got a poison gas
Baby got a heart attacks
Baby got a pain on tap
Baby gimme some of that
Baby got a nobel prize
Given for the perfect crime
Baby got an alibi
Baby got eight more lives
Baby got a satellite
Baby got second sight
Baby got a masterplan
A foolproof master plan
Baby got purple hair
Baby got a secret lair
Baby got an army there
I ain't ever seen baby scared
(Gimme some of that)
(Gimme some of that)
Baby got a crystal ball
Baby doesn't care at all
Baby's having too much fun
Baby got an atom bomb
Baby got a fleet at sea
And a submarine called Emergency
She got a motorcade
She got a monorail
Going coast to coast on a campain trail
Playing deck of cards in an armoured car
She got a kung fu star as a bodyguard
She got a juju charm
She got a magic spell
She got a genie all three is working well
She got a tv show
She got a shopping mall
She got a miracle, she doesn't want at all
She got a monument at a great expense
She got a head of state and a president
She got destiny, she got supremecy
She got everything from A - Z
She got it all down tight, she got nothing wrong
She got the whole wide world singing baby's song
Laura
Nov 15
Hi Sean, I'll speak to you what I think the Spirit shows me. You can discern. You are very concerned about being around a woman -- because you get stressed. Then, you get sick. But it is not the woman creating the stress. It is the python spirit and the critical spirit in you. That is the stronghold and the ruling spirit of your illness. This is what I tell you... please evaluate when I tell you that you need this deliverance. I could say more... but I will say this and stop. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 15
The Spirit shows me MORE about the ruling spirit of your illness. The python spirit says, "If you don't move, we won't hurt you." You flee relationship with women because you think you avoid sickness that way... as you seek to flee the stress. Also, you fled when I told you the need to communicate at a more healthy level. Well, had you listened to me, God would have broken that spirit out of you. But you fled. Because you felt stress -- the manifestation of the python spirit and the critical spirit -- and you thought that you had to avoid stress. But what you need is the repentance that will generate deliverance. Perhaps this is the sweeping out of the snakes. Except, personally, I don't want you to do that here.. (I remember your dream of sweeping out the snakes -- which I now see as your deliverance from that spirit... and perhaps your power of healing manifesting??). But, I leave you to seayong... and speak to you about that spirit and healing from it. The Lord flashed that to me where the spirit said, "We won't hurt you..." (Ie... that's the ruling spirit inflicting pain and sickness upon you so that you don't heal... and it lies to you about what will produce healing.) Remember that the scripture also speaks of a house that is swept... but not filled... reference the deliverance from devils and then coming back 7 times stronger. To me, you must be filled with LOVE in order to be delivered -- the love of Jesus. So, you must stop looking to receive from the woman and obey God to LOVE in a relationship. Ephesians 5. I feel to tell you this by the Spirit because it is the Word plus the word quickened to me. The door is still shut, I just felt to speak forth in Jesus' name. I'm not interested in trying -- after the inconsistency, 180's, confusion, and you leaving and most likely talking trash about me to Bill, Russell, and seayung... enough is enough. Plus, I think this is why you couldn't get along with seayung and most likely you should return to her and are not meant for me -- and Ken is meant for me. GBU!! Laura
Laura
Nov 15
One More Thing -- and Take This From AN APOSTLE who is higher in rank than a prophet. When I tell you that I had a dream with the door open to Jamie, and you telling me to get a job -- look what you did. You made that such a big thing (as if you were "right" -- and you were NOT)... that you tell me I am on my own now. (Ie. Like telling me to get a job... cuz you were not going to support me.... a) You "didn't like" that gift of the Spirit. You have a devil operating through you in a spirit of lust -- I know it and you know it. Yet, you act like you are white as the pure driven snow in your soulish level. You're not. Moreover, the woman in the relationship does have the right to tell the man to cut off contact with a former lover. That is not unjustifiable "jealousy". That is healthy dynamic and if you don't submit to it, it's because of that python spirit and critical spirit and the spirit of lust. It's your flesh rising up -- and look how your flesh rose up at me and those spirits. That was not the Holy Spirit rising up in you against me. It was not. It was wrong of you. Like, if you had "come to your senses" and said, "Laura, God is showing me I need to repent and return to seayung..."... that would have been in the Spirit if so. But what you have said and done is NOT the Spirit of God. Rather, it is your flesh, the python spirit, the critical spirit, the spirit of lust -- all of which are inter-related in your ruling spirit stronghold. So, sincerely, Sean -- please do not tell me I have to listen to you. No, you will listen to me speak in the Spirit of God. I'm not only a woman -- I am an apostle. And you need to listen to a woman in a relationship, and you do well to listen to an apostle. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 15
About Ken. Here's why. We never got together. But, I yelled at Ken. And I spoke to others, and I said things... and I remember going to talk to Ken. I looked him in the eyes and I told him I was upset about what religious ppl said. And he said, "Laura, that wasn't me. I didn't say that..."
Ken didn't yell at me. I'm sticking with Ken. I don't care what else he did wrong. He didn't yell at me. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 15
Didn't say that right.. lol I mean, I'm not with Ken. But, like waiting for him. I'm sticking to Ken in waiting for him. I cannot have a man who yells at me after all I have been through. The yelling at me was the worst thing. I didn't yell at ppl and I didn't have issues with communication -- until I endured someone blaspheming the Holy Spirit in my presence and a full descent into hell. Ken didn't yell at me. I told you I didn't want to argue. I meant, I didn't want you to yell at me. It's the #1 thing to me. It's the most hurtful thing. I want to wait for Ken and just stick with that -- becuz he didn't yell at me. That's what I mean. Like, I recognize we didn't get together and I've just sat waiting. But, I'd rather wait for a man who didn't yell at me. If he's not really for me -- that's okay. I'll just wait for nothing then. LOL GBU!! Laura
Laura
Nov 15
I'm thinkin as I started looking at taps thinking it best to "scrub" them... that you're a nice guy. You're a Christian. You get into the Spirit and somehow can "get into" the anointing about me. Yet, it really is an anointing for the whole body. When I feel you get into that anointing -- feels like you're "the one". But... no... and I think it's best for me personally to avoid contact. I do have a love for you... and I feel you get into the Eden anointing related to me and it can almost "fool me" again. hee hee. Nope. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. :) I wanna be nice and polite, Sean, I just want to close the door. And since you can kinda fool me... I think best that even when you come to get your stuff, we just don't have contact. I hope and pray that money comes in for me on this place this month. (I'm figuring that you'll be okay with you, Bill, and Russell and stay there or something. I figure you'll be all good and it's not like you'd "need" this place. I don't think you even like it from what you said. :) I don't wanna hold a grudge, I just don't want to experience being fooled again.
I'm not looking at more tapes for a while or today. If you see anymore pls scrub them. I might check again some other time. I wanna scrub everything. (It keeps coming back to me how together we went back to the Statue of Liberty for the 2nd time, EVERYTHING like the Bible says and even matching the vision of AA Allen. BUT... I'm not gonna get fooled again. I'm closing the door, scrubbing it all, and I am not having all this back and forth flip flopping anymore. :) GBU!!
Laura
Nov 15
Not fun... stuck w/no phone, no car, no way to get out and about. Have google plus. Am called to prayer so that's positive I am doing that. I hope you and seayung are getting back together and I'm getting together with Ken... one day. Cuz, if you were the guy for me, you should be taking care of me. And, this is not doing that... remember what it was like after 3 days of this. this is like 30 days..... how would you feel?? Hope you are going to FL and seeing seayung and you get back together.
Laura
Nov 15
I applied for assistance for a free phone... and food stamps. Because, I really don't want to leave this apt. And, so then, I guess I need to get food stamps for food... and somehow pay the rent. :) from what I see, can get food stamps for 3 months here in GA in a tough sitch. I put down your name and phone # as the "landlord". I mean, if I get gifts and don't need it -- ok. But, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
I think, actually, we could have gotten food stamps with me living with you all along here in GA. Cuz, we were living on your income and with 2 ppl - then though you didn't qualify in AL before, you would have qualified cuz of the same income and an additional person. But, I'm going to get it if I can if I need it. And, I will check into seeing what I can do about rent assistance.
I think that if you get in their system, they might help with employment. The fact that I don't have transportation creates an issue, of course.
I applied for the phone and the food stamps today. I will see tonite about housing. I'll let ya know. Cuz, I cannot be 100% sure, but, I might be getting that $200. (I cannot be 100% sure -- cuz I don't know where it is, etc.). Probly if I get food stamps, and a little rent assistance, I'll be for sure covered here, Sean.
I want to stay here. I am working on it.
I still cannot talk to you right now. I have a call on my life related to "endtime things". We may be very close to the "end time". I dunno. I sincerely do not want to move out of here -- because I want to see what all happens 12/21 and all that. Makes no sense to me to leave.
I really don't want to hear back yet on facts -- cuz seems to me that you can stay with Bill, you have income, and I don't see how you could have an emergency where you would need to come here if I can pay the rent here. Like, you are staying with Bill right now -- so you are not in an emergency housing situation. I am -- and I don't want to go back to Michigan. I don't want to leave here.
So, I am going to see what I can do to get emergency housing stuff. Food stamps. And just try to survive for the next few months if I can here.
I have no transportation right now, but I will see if my family will later bring me my car. I would not choose to apply for assistance given that I want nothing to do with teh 666 beast system, but you collect social security -- and you really didn't give a choice (unless someone would give me enough to pay everything in full prior to 12/1....) I want to try to take care of it now.
I'm telling you I believe I will have the money. My son does owe me $500 -- Tim owes me $200 -- I don't know when I will get that money. But, I do think that I should qualify for emergency assistance. I will tell them that I was living with you as a boyfriend (I was) and you abandoned me. That's what happened. That's a legitimate emergency for assistance. I should qualify for emergency food stamps and housing assistance -- even if it is for only the short-term. (I can hope.)
Laura
Nov 15
I really hope you can plan on me staying here. on the free phone, I will get 250 free minutes a month. Once I get that, I have it for a year. Like, you just have to apply once a year -- then confirm after the year that you still qualify, I guess. If I get the food stamps, then I'll have documentation for the phone. It takes proof of low income to get the phone. But, if I get the food stamps, then I have the documentation to get the phone. I probly, actually, could get SSI. I think I could submit my proof that I say I am the apostle of Revelation 12 and they say I'm crazy. Could probly get the disability back to May of this year. Maybe can get $700 to $1200 a month -- back to May -- 5 months... guess I'd have money to pay you back if that happens. I honestly think that if I don't start getting gifts, I'll see what happens. All I can say is that either ppl will support me, or I will have to do what I have to do. I don't have transportation.
I sent them just a letter saying I don't have income or a job so I don't have documentation other than what I submitted. (So, I'm gonna see if that gets sent to me. They say it takes 2 or 3 weeks to get to me. But, once I get that -- I will have a phone paid for.) Then, hopefully I will get enough foodstamps to last me for a month. I think by state help or whatever (hopefully I can get it)... that I should be able to pay the rent. Make sense?? (I wasn't clear on the phone thing -- it's that 250 free minute a month cell phone.)
If I get SSI - disability -- which I probly can get for the mental diagnosis... :)... then, I guess I wouldn't need food stamps. Cuz, I'd get "back pay" to May. :) Then, I would have a bit of a nest egg.
Sean, :), Lordwilling, I will do what it takes to stay here. I want to stay here, Sean, and answer my call!! :)
I mean, if ppl don't give to me, I do want to go to the dentist, and I honestly am going to take whatever aid I can get. Because, I'll just figure it's "charge them" kind of thing.
Either ppl will give, or Lordwilling, I am going to get SSI, food stamps, housing assistance, whatever I can get.
I'm putting you as landlord, like I'm renting from you. Less complicated. Don't want to have Chris involved til the last minute in case I get money and don't need the help.
K, hope I'm more clear with more details.
Laura
Nov 15
Hi Sean, I filed for social security with the social security department. I think I can file for something else also. I looked and learned that if a person receives gifts... that does not count as income. So, whatever I personally receive as a gift for doing my ministry that someone sends to me personally -- cannot count as income. It's a gift. It doesn't count against Social Security disability. And, as far as it goes for disability insurance -- I can earn up to about $1000 a month and it won't effect what I get. So, I'm going to see if I can complete this and see what the Lord does. So, I do not intend to work for more than $1000 a month for the rest of my life, really. (I don't need that much money while I live here for example.)
I did the online form. They will send me something to complete in paperwork. Somewhere around here I should have the folders that have the paperwork where they diagnosed me as a lunatic. :) So, on the basis of that I will file and it's in the Lord's hands. Pls pray that if we're "here" long enough for this to be filed, that they approve it right away. Cuz, if so, I believe I would get backpay to June. Then, I could pay you back out of that. (Or hopefully I can pay you back out of stuff earlier.)
I know sometimes ppl don't get approved. But, I'm going to "charge them" -- if I can. It's in the Lord's hands. Cuz, I'm not going to work anymore -- and so it's legit that becuz of my calling and what I believe, I can no longer work in the world -- so pay me my retirement that I paid for -- my disability that I paid into. :)
K, anyway, letting you know I am "getting on" things about income. As I say, it's in the Lord's hands.
Who knows how much longer this all will go on anyway. Israel war stuff... etc. Whatever, I'm just hustling to do whatever I can right now cuz you left and I have to get income going. I don't want to go back to Michigan. I want to stay here. (I don't understand "SSI" -- which may be done here in GA. I filled out a form online for the Fed Govt where they will send me forms and I have to make copies of things and send it back to them.)
God bless, Laura
Laura
Nov 15
I still don't want emails. Cuz, I'm just trying to process and update you. I think I'm gonna have money to stay here. I just wanna stay by myself, Sean. I experienced today an area in the core of my inward belly -- that has been "wound tight" and "balled up" and is how I say I'm "hit"... well, I felt it loosen up today like I relaxed and it receded. I actually thought I could talk to Ken like he was a normal human being, instead of me feeling like I'd freak out and panic cuz I had a full descent into hell and then saw him fully in the Spirit. Friend, that is a shock to a person's system to be flunged fully in the Spirit into hell in the lake of fire... be burned beyond all recognition... etc... try to avoid men altogether... then look in this guy's eyes and immediately be in the Spirit fully and see him in the Spirit. It's indescribable.
Sean, you think you had trouble communicating a "riddle"??? That's too hard of a corner there to take, Sean. LOL I mean what God did... and ppl just do not understand. So, it was really a big thing that I felt that today. I'm going to keep praying. Now, I SPOSE it could be about that Ken isn't really "all that" anymore... and I'm sposed to be with you. I just don't think so. But, God may be keeping it a mystery.
I think you're sposed to be with seayung. :)
I don't want you to talk to me right now -- I'm trying to keep you updated. I'm going through my process. I'm making significant spiritual process.
It was so significant, it's like, I could start releasing miracle working power very soon. Because like how you were talking about you were all balled up and couldn't talk normal to ppl -- you got away from me -- and you started thinking you could -- well, I started having the same thing. I've been balled up for years. I felt it starting to break through all of this prayer I have been doing. Plus, how I told you I'm not putting up with that stuff out of you anymore -- and I'm not, Sean. That's a python spirit. It's not you -- but that's what it is. Hopefully, you're getting free of it. I'm praying about it. Ken had a python spirit too. He was all would tight inside and had that secret affair going all those years... and there was so a religious spirit in the church where we went. Python gets sexual, I say, where you're blocked from healthy love freely, and also, there's a fear factor or something at some level. Ken was real shy. I really like Ken.
Anyway, maybe you're supposed to be with seayung and it will work out now. Maybe I'm sposed to be with Ken and it will work out now.
Guess, I'm not thinking so much anymore you and I are meant to be. :) LOL I spose I could be wrong. I just want to process and talk to you... and not let you send me emails right now.
I really did start hitting some powerful breakthrough level where I can "enter the atmosphere". That's what is happening, SEAN... it's POWER FOR MICHAEL AND THE ARMIES OF HEAVEN TO LAND ON EARTH IN THESE MORTAL BODIES... cuz we can chill with it and start to feel and talk normal instead of being all balled up. GREAT POWER will begin to move through us when that happens. It's just, you can be with seayung and I can be with Ken and it's cool if that's God's will.
Just giving you some heads up. Sean, I am the one who endured a full descent into hell and has to be free to talk and come out of it. :)
It might seem I'm sending too many emails, but I'm in a process right now and I'm working on getting things (TRYING) straightened out around here so I'm not relying on you on money (through giving or whatever)... and I'm processing through the breakthrough level to release manifest glory on earth in miracle working power... getting comfortable being present.
I'm thinking more about Ken, really, but talking to you as a Neo or something. LOL You did go through some of the prayer walks. :) So, God did use you to start breaking some of this forth. But, maybe I'm wrong --- I gotta leave room for me being wrong cuz I sure could be -- but I think Ken is for me. :)
GBU!!
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
We had outpouring of the Spirit tonite.... anointing birthing. It's hitting in Google Hangout. Like, how I told you when ppl gather for prayer meetings with me. It was the mega level. It hit. Lot I could say. But, like what happened with you, but through prayer and me being present. Like I told you how when it gets stronger, more and more I just need to show up and say less and the windows of Heaven will open and the Spirit will pour out?? It happened. Sean, you hurt my feelings and left me if you are the one for me -- so, I don't want you to be the one for me. I don't know, I have to drop this, but it's happening... I've got to drop this talking to you thing. But, to let you know -- it really is hitting. The outpouring.
You hurt me. So, I have to shut the door -- and I hope I'm right that you're not the one... ??? Letting you know. I really need to drop this now. And move on. :) I gotta stop talking and just shut the door. But, I told you I am processing and birthing the anointing. It's hitting. Beginning levels but they could all tell-- it's the big one -- like mega move of the Spirit opening up to pour out.... ttyl. Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
They prophesied in a way last night that made me think that I don't need to worry about foodstamps and all that. I am grieved when I email to you, Sean. Like, thinking of you -- I am grieved in my spirit. I don't know if that is because I should not think of you or because you are God's will for me and you hurt me. I keep thinking of us in NYC right now going back on the boat to face the Statue of Liberty. The second time. I know you did things in the Spirit of God -- but I don't know if you did that as a surrogate and as like "John the Beloved" when someone else is my Joseph. (You can take that in allegory -- like someone is a protector and another person is my husband. But, really, I am the apostle of Revelation 12 and that is a Mary person.) It hurts my feelings somehow that you just kind of dumped me on the side of the road in a way and left me.
Because, even if you were just to watch over me, I don't see how you could just leave me like this. God worked through you in offensive actions against the enemy, and you were not in the Spirit as that protector and bodyguard when you left here.
That grieves me still.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Don't know if you saw this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHwIBQddTE&feature=plcp about closing the door to the devil. The article stated apple and orange. That is what we found here in the dish -- the fake fruit. I am closing the door. But, you had a dream about me closing the door. In your dream, you did come back. Maybe it is just to get your things. I know that you must close the door, Sean, to that python spirit and stop thinking you can talk about your sickness and treat a woman the way you have. You are sick because you entertain the python spirit, I think. So, you do not need a woman to babysit the python and cajole the python and submit to the python because you are sick. You need to rebuke and cast out the python spirit(s) and obey the Bible to love the woman and not try to lord it over her. Being a "lord" does NOT mean "lording it over" a woman in a relationship rather than serving her in love and in mutual submission, negotiation, and mutual agreement Christ-centered as the Spirit leads. So, anyway, please see this tape because I still don't know if you are to go and be with seayong again and stay with her -- make up -- reconcile... or what. It will take time. Please see this tape if you can. And prayers I did against the python spirit, etc. GBU!
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I question this... Did I feel a release from the Ken thing yesterday where I was uncomfortable -- cuz he's NOT God's will for me?? Or becuz he is and I'm growing so being set free of the past?? Cuz, either that was an unchanging thing in the past, or something that is supposed to be let go of. That's why I'm waiting to see. I kinda feel like there is something uncomfortable between me and you where either we are not meant to be -- or there needs to be more outgrowing of the wrong things and more sanctification in our spirits so that discomfort goes.
I'm gonna keep praying. I cannot call this quite yet -- because I'm going to pray and not make a mistake where I say I KNOW who is who. I'd rather wait and let God show that through circumstances. I am processing. I'm sure this is getting old for you. Sorry about that. But I'm majorly processing right now. And, you don't let a person really communicate in person sometimes. GBU! Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I think in a way... I NEED MY LAUNDRY DONE so you need to come back with that car and get back here and TAKE CARE OF THINGS!!
I think that the way we "correspond" in the negative side of things is draining. Maybe the negativity is being drained out of us like water out of a pool in a way. I just find dealing with the negative side of you draining, and I think some of my writing is out of that sense of feeling myself "being drained" by a soul tie with you. I don't know if when the soul tie leaves what level bond we have in Christ. All I know is that I believe I "felt this" in a way when I was sitting at the pc on 5/29. Then, the police came through the door to pick me up. I wasn't quite sure if I should go "100%". They came through the door and I was forced to meet you. (I still had to talk to Tim about my job and I had to get my next check for $200 and find the other one so I had $400 -- then check with Dan to see what he could give me of the $500 he owed me. I had to organize my house as it was, then pack my stuff, and get ready to go. I wasn't going to be leaving "that day" as we had discussed. BUT, as soon as YOU LEFT... that is WHEN these police came through my door and "apprehended me".)
I got thrown in Holland Hospital for that period of time. I'm thinking about the "consummation" that happened 7/4.
I had no way out of that hospital and that sitch but to go with you. The word of the Spirit was that "the general's boots are on the ground!!" once I met you.
If you are supposed to be here, Sean, then you should DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. And stop trying to say you are going to abandon me.
I think of all that we did in the Spirit. About how you took me to Rock City and I was hid in the cleft of the rock. And how you spoke over the 7 states. About how you went to attend "The Call". Do you know that the church where I am going here in Elllijay is "Awaken The Call"?? Get it?? Awaken The Call?? The Call??
It's "The Bridge". BUT, the NAME OF THE CHURCH IS "Awaken The Call".
You better get your arse back here, Sean, if you are supposed to be the one for me... and stop this trying to get out of it. I'm tired of being confused by you and your inconsistency.
And I'm done with that python spirit. It's not going to bear rule in my house.
Jesus is Lord.
You better get back here and pay the rent for next month if you are supposed to stay -- or things need to be more clear.
Our sinful natures seem to me to be "hitting" and we seem to me to be wanting to break those soul ties -- but, I don't think that it means we are not meant to be.
I'm going with the signs not my feelings as this deliverance is happening from this python spirit.
I'm still confused. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO SEAYUNG... if you felt to say that over the 7 cities/states at Rock City??
GET BACK HERE SEAN BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO MY LAUNDRY.
You better get back here and take me to the laundromat.
I have dirty clothes and I need water now... and you DIDN'T LET ME HAVE A BIKE... and I need you to take care of things around here.
So, please get back here and take care of these things... then we'll see if you are staying or going.
I need my laundry done.
That's what I'm thinking.
Why don't you come back here and help me get the laundry done and take me to the store to buy some things... and help me get a bike if you are leaving and pick up your stuff.
Otherwise, humble yourself, repent, and stay.
But you need to be CHRISTLIKE AND HUMBLE not trying to lord it over me, yell at me, and have a python spirit.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Sean, pls figure it out... cuz I need my laundry done and if I try to wash my clothes in this water here -- rust will stain them. My son did not yet bring me my car, he hasn't said he's bringing me my car. You need to come back and pick up your stuff if you are staying anyway. Are you going to FL to visit Nathan??
I need my laundry done and I need some things from the store. It's a 7 mile walk to the store. I can't walk that far. I might could ride a bike, but I can't walk that far.
I need to color my hair, I need to wash my clothes, and I need things from the store.
So, can you get back here and help me out with that stuff, and help me to get a bike, and then see if you are leaving/going??
You should know this stuff, Sean. You're the man -- and you should know what God tells you. I know we both have the same sinful nature manifesting in different ways and we don't like that -- but...
I need this stuff done -- and I think you should take care of me. :) Even if you are leaving, you can come pick up your stuff. And maybe I can get set to survive another couple weeks.
You should know, Sean... and stop letting a python spirit rule your life. I need my laundry done and there's stuff to take care of here.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Also... I found FREE DENTAL CARE.... in GA. Please look at this: http://www.gfcn.org/search.php?search=30536 I found a different website also. There's different clinics. I need to go to the dentist, also.
I cannot figure out of Ken got "delivered out of me" cuz he's not the one for me when I relaxed like that -- or if he is hte one for me. BUT, if I go by the signs of things around here... we went to the Statue of Liberty, etc.
I need my laundry done, I have to get things taken care of, and I want to go to the dentist too.
I think you are supposed to take care of me... aren't you?? Pls figure this out, Sean, because I need laundry done, and I need to go to the grocery store, and I found where I can go to the dentist.
Please pray about it and see. I do recognize I can feel our sinful natures hitting each other -- I know you have a python spirit and a critical spirit and I think it's the reason you are sick (I really do think it's the controlling spirit of that) -- but I need these things and the man is supposed to take care of the woman in these things.
So, if you are supposed to take care of me -- then, I think you should think about this.
Please go back and look at how we met, what we did, and things God told you. I need things to be taken care of, Sean, and you are supposed to know what God leads and you should know if you are the man who is supposed to be taking care of me. I NEED THESE THINGS TAKEN CARE OF!! :)
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I cannot understand this stuff cuz spiritual discernment is very challenging, Sean. I know God is Sovereign ordering our steps. I need to do my laundry. I need things from the store. You didn't bring me to get a bike. My family didn't bring me my car. I don't understand how it was that we did those prayer walks and things if you're not the one for me. I cannot understand those level things. I can even progress in the Spirit and advance and know certain things. I just cannot know other things. I do know that I need my laundry done, I need to go to the store. I tried to get a phone and couldn't get a phone. I asked for you to help me get a bike and you wouldn't help me get a bike. So, now here I am. I think you are the one is supposed to know. Please pray and check to see if you can come take me to get my laundry done, go to the store, and get some things done. Maybe you are going to FL. Discernment things about you and Ken, I cannot figure out.
I'll see if the simple practical stuff makes sense -- and if you either stay in AL, go to FL, or come here and help me with the stuff I need taken care of. That level, I can understand. :)
GBU!
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Trying to figure this out cuz I felt kidnapped. You left... and while I was on skype with you literally as you said you were leaving... I was kidnapped. Now, it was my family trying to stop me from meeting you, but it was all kidnapping about marriage. And you set it off by leaving then it happened JUST AS YOU SAID YOU WERE LEAVING... Look at this stuff. A kidnap period for a month is similar to the 7 day wedding thing we experienced afterward. I was kidnapped 5/29. You picked me up -- I should have written it down... was it 6/27am or 6/28am?? It was probly a lunar month or something:
see below. if you are supposed to be with me you have to STOP DOING THIS THREAT OF LEAVING and stop confusing me. Or if you are supposed to leave and we are not meant to be -- WHY DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN AND WHY DID YOU DO THOSE PRAYER WALKS?? And all that?? I can't take this.
I'm going to evaluate by whether you GET HERE TO TAKE CARE OF ME or if I AM ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT HERE FOR ME.
If you LITERALLY DO NOT TAKE CARE OF ME AND I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF -- and you do not act as my provider and protector...
the door will be shut on you, I think, and I will take care of myself then....
Guess that's the practical way to figure it out. Please do not think that if I have to take care of myself, that I will let you back into my life. no, because that's the test, I think and the proof. That's someething I can understand. God bless.
http://www.marriagemissions.com/wedding-traditions-and-folklore/According to various sources, some of the early marriages were literally carried out by the Groom (and his Bridesmen or Bridesknights) who would kidnap a woman (the origin of “carrying a Bride over the threshold”) from another tribe! The Groom (and his fellow conspirators) would then fight off the female’s family of tribesmen with swords held in their right hand while the Groom would hold the captured Bride in his left hand (the origin of why a “Bride stands on the left side of the Groom” at a wedding).
After a successful capture, another politically correct practice was for the Groom to hide his new Bride for one month for mating purposes. It is said that the word “honeymoon” was created to describe this one month cycle of the moon when they would drink mead (a honey sweetened alcoholic brew that effects both sobriety and the acidity of the womb thus increasing fertility).
Later, in the more civilized (?) four-digit years (1000 – 2000), some marriages were nothing more than trading chips used in bartering land, social status, political alliances, or money (no checks or credit cards were accepted) between families!
The word Wedding:
It comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “wedd” that meant a man would marry a woman and pay the Bride’s father. If only there had been an early equivalent to television’s Roseanne or Miss Piggy, this practice no doubt would have ended quickly!
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I'm staying practical in how I understand this. That's it. I am going to see what God does to take care of and provide for me. I know He will. When I try to understand the spiritual, I just cannot at certain levels. I can live and walk it and release miracles and things. But, this is too hard to understand and here you insulted me about my spirituality. Like you are evaluating me. Like you're the critic judge. And I DON'T HAVE A PHONE ~~ or a car ~~ or a bike ~~ and I might as well not let this get to me. GBU!
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Please don't email me and never mind pls. I'm needing to process through release of this anointing. I need to do prayer rounds today. My ex-husband yelled at me and as far as I am concerned abandoned me refusing to care for me, etc. You shared much of your experiences and was quiet. I think what matters is that I do my ministry. It comes down to practical things, but it's so like my ex-husband. I remember that it was something that he did, yet, he wanted to go on vacation out of state to visit his relatives... saying he was stressed. But it was him yelling that was the issue. This is so like that. Pls don't email me. You care a great deal about your own feelings -- but I guess I would prefer to be by myself and do things myself. I don't want to rely on someone again and them not be there for me. GBU.
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
Just never mind my emails, Sean, and I cannot read yours, this is has been very confusing with you saying one thing, then doing a 180, then all the signs. You so remind me of my ex, in this which you have done in yelling at me and threatening to leave, repeatedly before -- now this, this just cannot be right. It confuses me with things, I think it is wrong of you to be so inconsistent and to leave as you have... to talk about all your dreams and visions and confuse me with them. I think it is confusing the prayer walks you did and took me on. Then abandoning me like this... ???
I think this is very unhealthy and it so reminds me of my ex. I think it is best if I forget we went out. I really won't read your emails, I don't think at all. Things are progressing with me moving forward with my anointing. The outpouring poured out last night with meetings. But, I think you remind me too much of my ex with the yelling and abandonment and I think it is not good for me to have further contact with you. GBU.
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I'd feel more comfortable WITH A PHONE, I think it's out of balance how I am with email in a sitch like this and no access to a phone. IT IS BOTHERING ME that your things are here... and I'm sitting here... how you left...
I am also thinking of how I can get home and get my car and bring it back -- if I have money to go back, get my car, bring it back, and pay rent here. Then, maybe I can be gone and you can get your stuff... and we don't have to cross paths or ever see each other again. I'm trying to figure out how to be fully "out" of the sitch where we don't ever have to cross paths again since you did this and left me here. Hudsonville, MI to Ellijay, GA...
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
mapquest
I-65 S to I-24 E12 hrs 12 mins / 730.58 miles
I-75 S12 hrs 18 mins / 737.09 miles
I think it's interesting that it is 12 12 and 12 18.
Maybe my car would get 22-25 miles to the gallon. $116 in gas (or more) So, a bus ticket to get back to Michigan... and gas money to get back here... and I've got my car. Insurance on my car costs $30-50 a month. I need to get plates on it.
I think I should be okay to visit my fam for the holidays and come back here.
I don't want to be here when you are here. Can't take flip flopping. Please pray that. I'm freaking out about this. Like, your stuff being still here. It's still a flip flop. I don't want any open door to a flip flop. I want us to never see one another again... if possible... after the way you left and that email you wrote me.
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I can get my car and bring it back here... my family says. I don't agree with the idea that I'm supposed to be a caretaker for you. I am called to minister miraculous healing. I have no call to become a caretaker. The man is supposed to take care of the woman. Anyway, if I do get my car and have my car here, I can make sure I am not here when you come to get your stuff. If you're not God's will for me, that's okay. It's just that you were in the flesh when you left and this is not cool with no phone, no car, and stuff. And being confused by everything that has happened. But, I totally believe the man is the "husband" which means he protects and provides for the woman. So, I do think I'm right that if you leave me here this month, lol, no, we're not meant to be. :) ttyl
Laura
Nov 16 (13 days ago)
I'm claustrophobic and I feel trapped in this stich but I just tried to calm down. I kind of saw a pic of you and seayong and nathan. I would be truly happy for you if that was God's will and was restored. It would be a beautiful picture!! ~~ (I'm only saying if you're God's will for me -- this is wrong.) God's will be done. GBU.
Laura
Nov 17 (12 days ago)
I spoke with a pastor. He advises that I should never mind the confusion where things seemed to be of God where you went on prayer walks and where we seemed to have commonality when praying. He said I should never mind how that seemed to me and know this relationship is not of God. So, I'm going with what he said. Before, I was getting confused by the prayer walks seeming to be of God. I'm going with what he said and believing I made a mistake in leaving with you in the first place.
The pastor says I am staying here for some time is what he senses. So, sorry about the indecision -- this was very confusing due to the way we did prayer and prayer walks together, etc - in Philadelphia, NYC, and DC. I'm just believing I would have done whatever God willed by myself. What God had told me was to go to Philadelphia 7/1-4... and I could have done that by myself. So, God bless you, and I think I can let it rest now. Prayerfully, I will be able to do so. I am taking the pastor's counsel on the matter and he says close the door and keep it closed. GBU and best wishes in your future. Laura
Laura
Nov 23 (6 days ago)
Hi Sean,
I have a possibility of a roommate. I'm not sure yet. If I get a roommate, I would want to lock your things in a storage unit where the roommate could have no access. I don't trust ppl and would want your things secure. So, I'd want you to either pick up your things, or I'd want to move them into one of Chris' storage unit so you could get them but they were locked up where a roommate could not touch them. I'll let you know how that works out. It comes down to money. And, with a roommate I could live for another couple of months. So, I'll let you know in the next few days if I get a roommate.
I think with time, my ministry will take off. My ebook will sell.
I'd prefer not to have a roommate. But, I have to do what I have to do.
It's a lil scary to have a roommate if I end up getting a roommate. But, I don't want a situation where someone tells me that we are together as a God thing and we are both called regarding 24/7 prayer, then the 24/7 prayer doesn't matter and we're not called to be together. That's just too confusing. I think it's better to have a roommate where we are just living together to save money. Though, living with a stranger is a lil scary.
I'll just have to trust God if that is what I need to do is have a roommate. I do want to make sure I protect your property and will let you know if I end up getting a roommate so you can make arrangements to pick the stuff up or we can talk about me putting it in a separate locked storage unit where the roommate has no access to it... and you can pick it up from there.
Thanks,
Laura
Laura
Nov 23 (6 days ago)
I guess I spose I could use the one padlock with a combo on the storage room... so the roommate has no access to it. But, someone could break the glass and steal things. I think it's not wise to trust ppl around property. Guess that's an option to padlock that door, but first let me see if I get a roommate and can go from there. I'll even get a male roommate if it means I can stay here, Sean. Becuz, even if that is risky, the bottom-line is that I want to stay here. But, I do get concerned about property protection then. Laura.
Laura
Nov 24 (5 days ago)
Hello. The roommate situation is progressing. Nothing is definite as of yet. However, the rent would be paid for next month and though it could potentially be dangerous (I'm a cautious person as a rule) ~~ I seem to have peace about it. I will pray about it further. I will have to trust God that He will protect me. But, if this person would pay 1/2 the rent, then I can pay the rent for December. Blessings. Laura
Laura
Nov 24 (5 days ago)
This situation bothers me. Before I left, you said you had assurance. On 5/29, I was removed from my house. You did not know it was my son, not me, but again you assured that you were yourself certain it was the Lord moving you. Then, I just went back and saw a tape 5/30. In the tape, you said you "repented" of believing it was the Lord. Then, when I was in the hospital, of course I could not see any of those tapes. You spoke to me there saying you were certain it was the Lord, and you wanted me to call you Joseph. So, becuz of that, believing you were certain, I agreed to leave with you. (I never had any indication you had ever flip-flopped.) Then, it was my b-day 7/23 and the card you gave me was still believing I am the apostle of Rev 12 and a sense that you knew me.) After that, when Paul created waves -- then you told me you were not sure. But that was the first indication I personally had. I never saw your 5/30 tape. For me, I had already left believing you. I know who I am in the Lord. So, ever since, I have not known that it was the Lord -- or if you were simply highly suggestible.
I think you personally must have had a measure of sincerity because you did move forward and it did cost you money. So, that proves sincerity on your part to a measure. But, it could be that you were merely highly suggestible so that you were sincere but misguided. I do find it concerning that I no longer trust mamacas and she is the one who said you were John the Beloved. If she is of the spirit of antichrist, then a python lying spirit could have been moving through her to falsely identify you to me. Part of me would want to believe that you did come to rescue me, you did do the prayer walks with me, and these things. But Satan knows who I am and can send something to confuse me, especially since you are highly suggestible.
It's sad to me because I would want it to be real, and I would want a prophetic man by my side. But, you have yelled at me and said you want to end the relationship. So, therefore, unfortunately it is so that you were simply receiving a powerful suggestion that ultimately came through mamacas.
Now, I have to see whether God wills me to be here in Ellijay or to return to Michigan. I want to stay here. I love GA and these things. But God knows. Because, since you say it was not really the Lord that you are for me, then perhaps I left Ken and should have simply gone to Philadelphia for 4 days and returned to Michigan. I know God is in control, but this could have been "one of those things" that blows ppl off course for a season.
I am meditating on these things and looking to see how God leads regarding December. I know God loves us all, including mamacas and everyone. I simply need to know what to do, and I know I want to stay here. But, what I want and what God wills can always be 2 different things because I am not yet made perfect.
I hope things are going well for you.
God bless,
Laura.
Laura
Nov 24 (5 days ago)
I guess I do need to hear from you on whether you will be abler to pick up your things from here December 1... or what your plans are. I want to stay here in GA. I'm not fully comfortable with getting a roommate. It's moving forward but I'm not yet fully decided. I'm very uncomfortable with thinking it's not the Lord how you and I got together and that you yelled at me. I'm really going to have to pray about having another roommate. I kind of want to just stick to knowing if you are going to be able to pick your things up December 1. Because I am going to pray about getting a roommate or going back to Michigan. I am definitely now a bit freaked out. I'm not just going to trust something now. Cuz, it feels in a way like a trap to me -- like, if it wasn't the Lord that you came to get me -- then, you got me and left me here... and then this feels like a trap to me. Like, on the one hand, I like GA and love Ellijay. But, on the other hand, you brought me here with me trusting you. And if you pull the carpet out from underneath me -- then it feels, in a way, that I have been left in a trap that is not of God. So, I have to pray about this. I am open to hearing what your plans are. But, I am not trusting anyone but God at this time. Laura.
Laura
Nov 24 (5 days ago)
I decided not to do the roommate situation. One of my Christian friends said that I should not have a male roommate for appearance's sake. I know that with Jana, whatever she felt was right for her and not my business. I tried to stay out of that. But, I'm not going to do it. God is big enough to find another way if He wants me to stay here. Plus, I am not sure of anything (and I didn't say I was 100% sure about 7/04 either -- though I was convinced it was a significant date).... but 12/21/12 may be the date of abomination of desolation. It lines up on the calendar I did, and it lines up as far as the signs in the skies about the alignments. I'm NOT saying "I know for sure that it is". But, it's possible. (God did not tell me that it was the abomination of desolation when I did it on my calendar -- just had me to do the calendar and I did see that 12/21/12 was one of the calendar days.)
God will have me be where He wants me to be. I feel like I was desperate in accepting something I didn't want as my preference. I don't believe it is God's perfect will that I be here in this apartment with a stranger - a man I don't know.
If God wants me to stay, He will need to find another way. He's a Big God, and He can do that if He so wills.
Did you know that on your T-shirt when we went to the Statue of Liberty -- it was an ITT T-shirt... and it said, "Lake Mary, FL" on it?? I went back to look at that prayer, and noticed that on your T-shirt. I don't know what that means all I see is something coincidental but that doesn't mean I understand what it means, of course.
Well, I don't have the full money to pay the full rent for next month. I have $105 in paypal -- $150 in cash. I have sent the stuff to get the $200 check replaced. That's $455 total.
I think 12/21/12 is somehow significant. Not saying I know how. But, it's obviously 21 days from 12/01.
There might be a gal roommate coming -- I'm not sure. But she is a female Christian who prays. So, that roommate sitch I would accept.
Sean, I have never said that I know all things. I know who I am in Christ. I know my ultimate commission in release of the full stature move. I know that I have done things in my declarations and prayer walks. I did a declaration at my State Capitol in 2010 immediately after Obama signed Obamacare. On 8/23/2011 I confronted Obama in Holland, MI in front of Johnson Controls. On 7/4/2012... I was sent to Philadelphia (I was to be there from July 1-4 I felt lead)... and you did prayer walks with me there. I did prayer walks and declarations at Statue of Liberty, at the Financial places in NYC, and in Philadelphia. I went with you when you did a declaration in DC also.
So, I have done matters of declaration.
On 7/21/2012... that was 3-1/2 years in Gregorian calendar from 1/21/2009... and there was a Rev 12 kinda lighting storm at Tucked Away cabin.
12/21/2012 is 5 months later.
I do need to be open to that the Lord may have me "someplace in particular" on 12/21/2012. I personally am the kind of person that I would prefer to stay right where I am right now.
But that is in the Lord's hands.
I did not accept this roommate -- I was not comfortable. Giving you that update.
God bless,
Laura
Laura
Nov 25 (4 days ago)
I had a dream. In this dream, it wasn't a good thing to go into a parking garage. A parking garage is where, most likely, a false prophet would want you to be.... This is the dream I had last night. I don't know what other people's dreams mean. But I get a sense from my own dreams that I can feel. I did not want to be in this parking lot area. It was ppl who worked for the enemy who parked their cars in these spots in this dream.
Below is a copy of what I shared with others. I had the dream and woke up to it this morning -- 11/25.
*************************************************
A Dream I Had Last Night -- I believe a dream of Spiritual Warfare.
I was trying to get to a "central position" in a web and complex in order to destroy the enemy's camp. It was like I was a spy. The enemy's personnel tried to tell me to stop, but I ran straight past them and began running for the central location so I could disarm all their power and destroy them completely. There was firing upon enemy personnel. Strangely, not like in movies, though they were armed, they could not fire on me. As they came out in hordes, I just fired on them and kept firing on them until all of their personnel were dead or at least on the ground, and kept moving to the next level going for the central location.
I remember that there was this level where I had to go one way or another. I went through a door. I ended up in a parking lot. It wasn't like yellow lines on the pavement for parking. It was odd and different. Like computer programming instructions -- saying one car in each place where the cars were to park. But there were no cars in the parking lot. It was like the weekend or something where all the personnel were not there to park their cars here. But, I knew that I could not stay in the parking lot to achieve my mission. I had to get to the central location where the power was to disarm all of the enemies power and destroy his mission and his organization and his camp so that the enemy was rendered powerless.
There was one time where I or someone else was firing on this one of them. Shooting them repeatedly in the chest. It did not phase this one. Someone yelled, "Shoot him in the head" to kill him or to shoot him in the hand so that he could not hold his weapon. But he showed that he had on a bullet proof vest. He had to be shot in the head to be killed. It was then that I "took a wrong turn" to go into the parking lot. He did not really fire his weapon. He just looked menacing. They all just looked menacing. Because though they had weapons, they simply menaced and threatened with their weapons but were really "sitting ducks" for us. They did not fire back as we fired upon them.
I could hear enemy personnel, armed guards (that's who I had encountered), coming to look for me. There was another woman there somehow and she really didn't know what she was doing as well as I did. She began to scream as they were chasing her --- because, of course, it was their intent to kill her. It's like she didn't know that she had to go for the central power source to disarm it and was more like caught in their web, their complex, not realizing what she was in and what things were about. So, I heard her scream.
There was a rest room off of the parking garage. I ran into the rest room. There was a piece of furniture there. It was a large rest room. I opened the cabinet because I was going to duck into it and hide in the cabinet, let them pass by, then go back how I had come to go out of the parking lot area and back to what I was doing to running to find that central location. So, I opened the cabinet and turned to crouch in backwards so that my back was at the back of the cabinet and I was facing the cabinet doors that I was pulling closed before me. So, with my back up against the wall crouched in the cabinet -- I was facing the cabinet doors. In that position, to my right, was plumbing. This had looked just like a cabinet where there was nothing, then as the dream changed possibly a sink above. Then, strangely, as I was in the cabinet it seemed like it was "different" plumbing.
Then, I woke up. My sense at that point was that the enemy guards would come into the bathroom, not see me, move on, I'd come out of the cabinet and go back to running to find the center and complete my mission.
It did seem like spiritual warfare, because these enemy guards threatened like they would kill you and tried to appear menacing... but they really could not fire upon me. I could fire upon them and take them down. But, I did think that the woman who was not engaged in warfare with them firing upon them and instead was running from them just in fear being intimidated by them and buying their appearance... letting them "control the battle"... that she was perhaps in danger though she really had all the power to defeat them but was going by appearances only and wasn't fighting them.
Please note that I am called to start a PRAYER CENTER to release my anointing. So, "the center" of the enemy's power is like what I attack and destroy through finding my center in Christ, ini the PRAYER CENTER, and releasing the outpouring that nails the dunamis release of the full apostolic power gift of faith (how I talk about the full stature move of the Spirit.) I75 South in dreams...Inbox x
Laura
Nov 25 (4 days ago)
I75.... there's an eye and a 12... and an S for a hissssssssssssss... like a python spirit.
Laura
Nov 25 (4 days ago)
Think about "parking a car" I'm pondering meaning of "parking a car" if a car represents a ministry. If a Christian is called to a ministry -- it is Satan who wants to seduce that Christian into parking their car and getting out of their car. It's equal to "not walking in the Spirit" and "leaving the ministry to which you were called". It's getting into the flesh and being pulled into the world system. In the dream that you had where we didn't have enough money to park there -- it could mean we didn't have so much love of money (root of all evil) or it would mean that we were not worldly enough to get into the flesh enough to park the car and leave the ministry. In your dream -- you were driving the car and I was a passenger. In mamacas' dream, I was driving the car and she was the passenger. (I don't know if mamacas is saved or not. Ppl can make errors in doctrine and still be saved. I am not going to judge that at this time.)
If the dream was like my dream, the hotel and such would have been the enemy camp, world system. oneoftheonez was in the basement or something in one of these dreams you had. this is a place where the false prophets go and live and hangout. it's the enemy's camp and kingdom in my dream.
We were headed south on I75S when we encountered the parking garage, all that. Heading south is not good, seems to me. South is down. North is up. Zion is a city on the sides of the North. Heaven is up. Hell is down. (see below blog article pls).
Also, it is not good in my sense of things according to the dream that I had to go to a rest room either -- the parking garages are not good and the rest rooms are off of the parking garages and they are not good either from at least the senses that I had in the dream that I had. The rest rooms are off of the parking garages in my dream. It's a place where one is hiding from the enemy... but not in the battle... not doing the work of the ministry... or something. It wasn't good when I took a wrong turn, went into the parking lot ,then turned to hide in the rest room.
I'm waiting on God on these things.
http://drywind.net/blog/ghosts/sides-of-the-north-a-path-above-the-highest-dimension/823/
Sides of the North – A Path Above the Highest Dimension
February 2, 2009 by drywind
Filed under Features, Spirit World
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Modern physics points to the reality of other dimensional existences, and this demonstrates that what we flippantly call the spirit world exists not as an unreal ‘ghostly’ realm, but a series of very real dimensions – some more real than the subatomic – electromagnetic dance of the “material world.”.
The Bible challenges the superstitious belief of a purely ethereal spirit world by setting up a heirarchy of realms. For example there is Sheol (the abode of the dead), the Earth, Heaven, and the very highest- the throne and mountain of God.
The the Bible speaks of the Sides of the North as being a holy realm, which is above all and something our physical mind cannot understand – a completely transcendent place. It is far more than a mountain; in fact the great mountains of the earth are only limited “models” or facsimiles to Zion, like the way a simple paper airplane “models” a greater reality of a super-jumbo airliner.
Psalm 48:1-2
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised In the city of our God, In His holy mountain.
Beautiful in elevation, The joy of the whole earth, Is Mount Zion [on] the sides of the north, The city of the great King.
The archangel who rebelled against God pledged in his pride to ascend to this realm:
Isaiah 14:12-15
“How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!
For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north;
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’
Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, To the lowest depths of the Pit.
Instead of the dimension above all dimesions, God casts this being into the lowest abode.
The Bible has much to say about the landscape of the complex hierarchy of the multidimensional realm that is unseen to us, yet affects nearly everything on this earth, from personal lives to geopolitical realities. Above all this reality is God, who sent his son to redeem us lowly humans from being continual victims of the forces of darkness and of death itself.
Laura
Nov 25 (4 days ago)
I need to hear from you what your plans are. 12/21/12 looks to me like it may "mean something". I'm not sure what -- but I'm watching. I have major decisions to make. I am a bit confused relative to you personally. I am praying about these things. I am trying to decide whether I should leave and go back to Michigan -- or whether I should stay here in this place as a Prayer Center. The door is open for me to go back to Michigan. My family would not bring me my car. So, I didn't have a way to try again around here to get a job. You could have taken me to Michigan to get my car. But, instead, you just left here like that. If I had a car here and transportation, and a job -- that would be one thing. You didn't make an effort to help me to get that going. You just left.
I think we should have had a prayerful discussion. I think that either you should have taken me to get my car in Michigan -- so that I had a car here -- and given me time and opportunity to get a job here... OR... if we prayed about it and it seemed right for me to go back to Michigan, you could have driven me back to Michigan.
I don't think it's Christian or right of you to "just leave". I left Michigan on the understanding you gave me. If you were wrong, you have a responsibility to God and to me, I believe, to do what you can to leave me landing on my feet... not like what you did. You just left and you pulled the carpet out from underneath of me. That is not the way to handle things, Sean.
I don't know what the future holds. But, if you would have helped me to get on my feet with my car and a job, then I would have had a clear way to provide for myself and to start paying you back. I think that would have been the win/win way to approach things.
To leave me here with NO PHONE and NO CAR and even NO BIKE -- really did "tie my hands" so I could not do anything to become independent, really, except if there was some sort of miracle of giving. But, that's just not how you "do life" as far as caring for others. I didn't "leave Michigan" with the idea that we were NOT going to walk this thing out all the way to it's completion.
You are the one who "changed your mind" -- and I do think that you should be a gentleman and take care of things. I think that's your responsibility and you took on that responsibility when I left with you as I did in the terms in which I left with you.
You cannot just "change the terms" and leave a woman, especially an apostle, stranded.
I DID receive $510 in giving this month -- PLUS, I am working to get that check for $200 re-imbursed. So, there really was no financial reason to "throw your hands up in the air" and say that God did not provide. You REALLY COULD HAVE helped me to get my car and given me a chance to get a job here in Ellijay with my own transportation.
THAT is the right thing to do, Sean. You have to put your feelings to the side -- not allow your anger at women to rise -- and do the right thing, I say, to follow Jesus.
I need to hear from you. If I do not hear from you by noon on the 27th with you giving me info so I can formulate thoughts -- then I may need to make decisions to do what I think is needed in your absence and not having heard from you.
Laura
Nov 25 (4 days ago)
TJ just asked me questions from yt. I told him that I won't answer questions about me and you. I did say, however, that I will NOT have another relationship with a man with a yt channel. If I meet him and he has a channel -- then he has to just end all contact with ppl from yt so it's not a "yt community" relationship. It's absolutely too strange. AND, I am NOT going to answer to any man about my yt channel or my ministry, Sean. I answer to Jesus Christ. A man who thinks that my ministry is a reflection in him has to get a life of his own and disentangle himself from overinvolvement in my business. Hear that. God bless.
Laura
Nov 26 (3 days ago)
Unless something comes through -- I'm leaving. I'm contacting my family and leaving. You need to contact me to let me know that you are coming here to move here or to get your stuff. If my family agrees to come get me (which they offered to come get me) ~~ I am leaving unless something comes through financially. I believe I will contact them tomorrow. God is big enough to pay the bills around here if He wants to -- and if He doesn't, I'm leaving. GBU.
Laura
Nov 26 (3 days ago)
If I leave here and we were not meant to be, with all due respect, after this month -- we'd only need to talk to discuss practical matters. We don't need to be friends who stay in touch. It's a cardinal sin to think it's all about you and your feelings, even all about you and your health (which is the result of you being selfish and trying to control a woman in a relationship... sorry, that's what I think...), and to take off like you did. I did not agree to it. I did not agree to give you $200 of the $400 that was given to me. I still say we should have discussed like adults, and you should have either taken me to Michigan or taken me to get my car so I could work here in GA -- something. Not making a unilateral decision to take off and stick me here with no car.
Sean, that's just wrong. You have to give up your desire for so much control. It's necessary to talk and to come to mutual agreements so you are not trying to use power to control. It's just wrong, Sean, to try to make a woman a child and you the daddy or something -- like a minor child who gets no say in anything. Come on.
Whatever.
I'm preparing to leave and I will not be talking to you in general terms after I do leave if I do.
God bless.
Laura
Nov 26 (3 days ago)
I re-read your letter.... Sean, with all due respect, if I am left isolated with no phone and no transportation, I am likely in that scenario to have strong emotions. I am likely to fire off emails. However, you in person have strong emotions. And, as far as us "being broken up" -- you flip flopped time and time again. There's been a factor of the supernatural involved from the beginning that may have simply been you being highly suggestible. So, no, it's not "for sure" that we are broken up when you are in the flesh and we are talking about a supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. So, honestly, it's not as if I would really "know" where your position is. Because you do go into the flesh "hard and strong" at times -- and then come back into the Spirit.
You're not the same person when you are in the flesh as you are when you seem in the Spirit. But, it's a question then if when you were in the Spirit -- you were also highly suggestible so it wasn't God's will ever.
But, I am basically looking at how God provides here. If God provides, I will stay. If He doesn't, I am leaving.
For me, it's simple -- just God providing and following the walking out of things.
I don't agree with your letter -- again. It's very insulting. I could critique you as well. But Jesus is perfect and didn't come to criticize -- thus condemn.
Please do not criticize me until you can prove to me that you have overcome all of your flaws, and are become perfect.
God bless,
